TLDR: my bf pesters me to have sex and makes me feel bad if I don’t have sex with him, even if it’s painful for me or I told him no already.
Hello I am 18f and my bf is 19, we’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and 3 months and we’ve been living together since we were 6 months into our relationship. Here’s some backstory: For the first year and a half we had a really good sex life and had great sex, however this past year it hasn’t been so good. We moved to another province to live with my dad as our living situation with his family was very toxic for both of us, he’s now on great terms with his parents, we live 13 hours away from friends and family now. He misses them a lot but my dad lets us live here rent free as long as I’m working on school and he has a job. This is great for many reasons, we both dropped out of school so he was able to graduate this year and I can work on school online while not having to stress about work or rent, as we had to pay rent to his parents when we lived in the basement suite. I also didn’t get to spend much time with my dad growing up as my parents are divorced and my mom moved far away. This past year has been very stressful for both of us, with the new living situation, less freedom, no friends, schoolwork, and living in a small town with not much to do. We don’t have a car nor our full license so we’re kind of stuck. Recently though it’s been a lot better for everyone and We’ve all been less stressed.
Now onto my issue. I haven’t been wanting to have sex as much as before, my sex drive is much lower and on top of that it has been very painful for me. For awhile he couldn’t even get it in and I thought I might have vaginismus. While it was painful I would still let him have sex with me because he would ask so much and get sad if I didn’t, I would give him oral or other things when I didn’t want to as well however this wasn’t always enough for him. I would let him have sex with me even though I would cry from pain, he would ask if I wanted him to stop (I did want him to stop) I would always say no because I felt bad. I went to a gynaecologist about the vaginismus and she said nothing was wrong and that it was probably just stress and anxiety. I tried to manage my stress more and we started using coconut oil to help, it’s been much better lately and we usually have sex 1-3 times a week. My bf wants more, whenever we do have sex it’s only once because I’ll start to have pain after and don’t really feel like going for round two, he always wants more though.
It’s really frustrating and it hurts me a lot because I never feel like I’m enough for him, there are days where I really just don’t feel like having sex and it’s just so much work for me, I have to breathe right and relax my body, we have to get a towel for the coconut oil, and no matter what I’ll have some pain at the end and then I have to go to the bathroom to clean up. I just don’t want to do that every single night. If he could have it his way we would have sex every night multiple times, but that’s not what I want. And every single day he brings up sex which just makes me annoyed and want to have it less. The other night we had the best sex we’ve had in a while, and he still wanted more after and it made me feel really bad about myself, like after we have this great intimate time together he still wants more and I’m not enough. Sometimes I just want to cuddle or make out or something but then he tells me not to because it’ll turn him on and that I won’t have sex with him anyway.
This has become a big thing in our relationship I have told him if he wants more sex he can leave me and find someone who will let him have sex everyday, obviously he says he would never and that he loves me, but I don’t know what to do about it anymore. We talk about it too and he apologizes but nothing changes, he always tries to convince me to or he’ll start touching me when I don’t want him to, sometimes I will just give in and let him just to get it over with so he stops bugging me about it. It makes sex not fun for me at all, especially with how he acts afterwards and the days after. His friends also talk to him about how much sex they have with their girlfriends and he brought that up and it made me feel really bad so I started crying and got pretty upset about it. I do miss having the sex we used to have but things have changed my body is changing and I have also been on birth control for 3 years so it might have changed my sex drive as well idk. I just don’t know what to do to make this situation better.
Submitted August 01, 2021 at 04:12PM by koitori79 https://ift.tt/3C9qwOE
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