My [29m] asexual spectrum girlfriend [29f] wants to have a normal sex life with me, but I feel weird about it

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months now and really, we are quite happy with each other and the relationship. We have been very close friends for the past 7 years but eventually came to the conclusion that dating each other is in both of our best interests.

I am a heterosexual male that enjoys sex, romanticism and intimacy with a girl. She is a graysexual (asexual spectrum) female that really doesn’t value sex or sexual acts very highly in a relationship but enjoys romanticism and touching like cuddling. However, I had no idea about her sexual orientation until we started dating (I assumed she was simply heterosexual).

In the beginning, I noticed that when we would have sex she would be a bit more vocal in the bedroom (dirty talk) and would also compliment me by saying I’m hot and things like that, which seemed very normal. I enjoyed it. As time went on though, the dirty talk faded and she doesn’t compliment me in a sexual manner anymore.

After I found out about her sexuality and noticed the shift in our sexual intimacy, I attempted to understand how she feels about sex and what “turns her on” by asking. I’ve tried to bring this up about 3-4 times now and every time I attempt, she usually tries to shift away from the conversation. She recently told me the reason for that is because she’s afraid that if she tells me exactly what she really thinks about sex that it will hurt my feelings. She stresses that I have not stepped over her boundaries and she doesn’t “not” enjoy it.

After I found out that she was on the asexual spectrum, I was really taken back as sex is definitely a need for me in a relationship. I feel terrible because she checks all the boxes for me, but I’m not sure how to feel about having sex moving forward. She mentioned that our sex/intimate life can still be normal, but I feel like it’s out of respect for my needs only.

I really believe I could be happily married to her, but should I be worried about the longevity of our sex life? How should I feel about this?

TL;DR: Sex with girlfriend seemed normal in beginning but then began to feel somewhat emotionless. Found out she was on the asexual spectrum. I love her and see a realistic happy future with her but sex is a need for me. How should I feel about this?

Submitted August 23, 2021 at 08:32PM by 99rhymes https://ift.tt/3sJlMer