My boyfriend [21 M] grabbed my hair [20 F] and shook my head out of anger. Should I leave him or try to forgive him?

TL;DR: His reasoning behind grabbing me by my hair and shaking my head was because he was mad at me for coming to his house after he told me not to. I wanted to be there for him because he expressed that he felt alone and said I wasn’t there for him. I feel guilty for coming to his house when he told me not to, but I feel like that doesn’t justify him doing what he did. I love him and I want to try and forgive him, but if he loved me he wouldn’t have hurt me the way he did.

To give context, my boyfriend and I have been dating a little over five months. We don’t live with each other and we are always texting each other. We rarely go hours without texting each other unless one of us is busy or asleep. We have our ups and downs, but we usually work through them. I personally feel like I am there for him more than he is there for me, but a couple of days ago he mentioned that he feels like it’s the opposite. He explained that he feels this way because I haven’t been there for him as much as I could have while he has been sick… But it’s hard for me to be there for him when we both agreed that it would be best to wait to see each other until he felt better because he didn’t want to get me sick. He also would sleep for hours during the day and so our conversations were always short. But when he was awake, I would ask him how he was feeling and giving him recommendations on things he could do to feel better. I also don’t drive, but I offered to have a friend drive me to his house to drop off anything he wanted, but he said it was fine. I personally feel like I cared about him being sick and I tried my best to be there for him despite our restrictions. However, while I was hanging with my friends and drinking, he told me that he was upset with me for partying while he was sick and that me choosing to drink with my friends meant that I didn’t care that he was sick which isn’t true. I spent an hour trying to reassure him that I did care and I even offered to leave the party to go see him but he told me no. I kept asking because I felt guilty that he felt that way and I wanted to be there for him, but he still did not want me to come over that night… but I didn’t honor that and had a friend drive me to his house…

I was drunk when I came into his room and he immediately asked me what I was doing there after he told me not to come. I explained to him that I wanted to be there for him and I felt bad about making him feel like I was disregarding his feelings and him being sick. I can’t remember what he said after that, but I remember I left to go outside to puke and when I came back inside he told me that I needed to have whoever dropped me off to come back to take me home. I told him that I was too sick to leave and that I wanted to be there for him, but he did not want me to be there at all so he told me that he was going to drive me home. While he was putting his shoes on I had texted my friend who dropped me off to come get me. I went outside to puke again and he followed me outside. When I was done puking he grabbed my hair into his fist and shook my head while saying “When are you going to get it through your stupid fucking head that I don’t want you here and you need to leave. I was crying while he was doing this and this was when my friend came and I left with her.

The next day he made up a lot of reasons and excuses as to why he grabbed me by my hair the way he did. He said that it was my fault and that if I didn’t come to his house he wouldn’t have done what he did. He also told me that it was my fault and I made him do that because I kept pushing his buttons. He also said that he’s never laid a finger on any other girl he dated and I’m the only girl he’s done that to so that shows that it was my fault and in a way deserved it. After talking for hours, he apologized to me and promised that he would never do anything like that again. I love him and want to forgive him for what he did, but it’s hard to let go of him hurting me…especially since he says he loves me more…

All in all, I feel stuck and I really need guidance on what the smartest and safest thing to do?

Submitted July 24, 2021 at 12:58AM by kittytwears https://ift.tt/2WhpJef