Last night we went to our county fair and all his family was in town for it. As soon as I walked in, the amount of people freaked me out and my heart started pounding and I could feel my hands start to lock up (always happens during a panic attack). So I told him I needed to leave and went to the car and sat there for 2 hours while he took the kids to ride rides.
He came back and told me that I only have anxiety when it's "convenient" for me. I really don't see how it's EVER convenient to have anxiety, let alone when I would obviously rather be with my kids and his family having fun...?
I KIND OF get why he might think that...because a lot of times I will tell him I don't want to go somewhere because I'm uncomfortable and then he will talk me into it and I end up having a panic attack.
But seriously, after 7 years together and MANY TIMES of seeing me visibly shake, my hands lock up, my tongue go numb to where I can barely talk, he should know by now how scary panic attacks are for me. And usually he helps me through them, which is the strange part!!
I honestly feel like I just wasted 7 years of my life with someone that never took the time to get to know me. Anyone who knows me knows I am not someone that would fake something just to get out of something. I don't know what I ever did to make him think I'm a person that would do something like that.
I mean everything else is great in our relationship, but this one thing really makes me feel like he doesn't know my character at all. I really can't even look at him anymore.
Tl;dr- Fiance has seen me have horrible panic attacks since the first week of being together and usually helps me through them, then last night decided I only have them when it's "convenient for me".
UPDATE: We finally had the chance to talk about this and I showed him this reddit thread and he apologized very nicely about accusing me of faking it and said he hadn't even considered therapy as an option. So I'm going to set something up this coming week. He said a lot of these comments were just as rude and uncalled for as what he said last night. Then ended it with "It's no excuse, but last night was really stressful. I shouldn't have said what I said. I've known you have panic attacks since the second day we were together. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I love you."
So all is good. Thanks to people who weren't assholes ✌
Submitted July 24, 2021 at 08:06AM by mama_kk https://ift.tt/2Wmjp5j
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