My husband (28 M) and I (27 F) have been married for a year and a half. We both have established careers, an infant and a house. My mother is ill and I’m currently caring for her. Our lives are very much rooted down.
My husband’s ex (25 F) has full custody of their shared child (4 M), though my husband has unlimited visitation. She gave birth after they broke up, without letting him know she had ever been pregnant, so she’s had full custody herself from the jump— which my husband has been fighting in court for two years now.
She has decided to pack up and move (with stepson) an eight hour plane ride away. She flat out told my husband this was non negotiable, and he will either go with her or never see his son.
My husband is now insistent that we pack up our lives and follow his ex wherever she chooses to go. I understand that this is his child, and he wants nothing more than to be a present father. But I will not let my life, nor our daughter’s life, revolve around the whims of a bitter ex girlfriend.
If we leave we’ll be abandoning my sick, divorced mother who only has one child to care for her (me). We’ll be abandoning his entire family (who, on top of being cherished loved ones, watch our daughter while we’re at work and save us thousands in childcare). My dream job and his well-paying career. Our new house in a good school district. My entire support system, which has been essential for me while navigating having a newborn. Everything will be gone.
Am I being unreasonable for putting my foot down? I think this is an extremely unfair thing to expect from me, especially after having just had our baby. Besides, what precedent does this set with the ex? That when she says “jump” We both say “how high?” Who/what should I prioritize here?
TLDR: husband wants to follow toxic baby momma across the country, I am adamantly against uprooting our family. Am I being unreasonable?
Submitted April 23, 2021 at 03:19PM by royalcheeese https://ift.tt/2Pgg8ky
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