I (38F) feel a huge disconnect and pain with my brothers (38 and 36) and I feel very alone. Thinking of cutting contact with them completely. Not sure what to do.

Let me start out by saying that I used to think I was pretty close with my two brothers. My twin brother and I used to hang out often, then I moved out of state to Florida. (Our family lives in NJ)

I moved down to Florida 6 years ago and moved in with my best friend. Now I live with my boyfriend, have a full time job and we have our own place. This is a major accomplishment for me after years of struggling with health issues, Cerebral palsy, spinal surgery and learning disabilities. I’m proud of myself.

Our family was rocked by tragedy when my brothers and I were teenagers and our mom died of cancer. Since then, my brothers have spiraled. Both are alcoholics, both have attempted suicide and both have been in inpatient rehabs. I’ve driven them to rehabs, stayed with them, visited them, called all the time. My twin brother has been to rehab 4 times, but has been sober since 2015. I thought he was doing well, until I got a phone call on thanksgiving 2020 that changed our family forever. My twin brother had been arrested and charged with a horrific crime against children that I don’t think I should say here. He’s since plead guilty and is incarcerated. I haven’t spoken to him in 6 months and I’m not sure if I should, despite family members encouraging me to reach out.

Meanwhile, my younger brother doesn’t work, doesn’t call me unless he needs something and never keeps in touch. Anytime there’s a crisis, his girlfriend will reach out to me for help, then, radio silence until the next crisis. He describes himself as “emotionally fragile” and that’s why he doesn’t have a job.

I think about my brothers often and I miss who I thought they were, especially my twin. I’ve been told by my younger brother that he can’t wait to meet my boyfriend and see me, but he makes little effort to, even when I travel to NJ.

I just feel hurt, sad, frustrated. I sometimes feel like I don’t have a “real” family. I’m disgusted by what my twin brother has done. I feel fed up with both of them. What should I do? Should I give up and wash my hands of them?

Tl:dr: my brothers are both addicts and my twin brother is in a bunch of legal trouble and is in prison. I don’t know if I should wash my hands of them.

Submitted April 26, 2021 at 09:28AM by Throwawaykitkat3202 https://ift.tt/3erbFUE