After taking couple therapy me (30f) and my partner (30m) of 5 years decided to give us some space for one month but he just told me he rented a house for a year, I'm devastated. What shoud I say about it?

TL;DR At the bottom

First time posting, thank you for you time in advance, english is not my first language I apologize for the grammar.

I want to start by saying that my (30m) partner and I (30f) have been living together for more than 5 years in a house that it's my moms property, I pay for 90% of the utilities because 1. I have a regular job and he doesn't and 2. I've been doing it for more than 10 years so I'm used to it and have most of it programmed.

A couple of months ago we had a reunion with some of my friends, I have to say that I tend to be really harsh sometimes and do 'jokes' that are over the top (Im aware of this being rude and try to avoid it but when I feel relaxed it's something I don't think that much). I invited some of the people over to the house because I was having fun and wanted to extend the reunion, my partner was hesitant because of one the people who he doesn't like that much, and I said something along the lines of 'Well I'm paying so we are doing it' he got rightfully mad and went to sleep early. (I know that doesn't sound like a joke but early in the day he forgot his wallet at house and we had been sayin he did it on purpouse so I'd pay for both)

I'm not writing this to know who was wrong, I was an asshole and it was unacceptable. The next day when I realised that it was a big issue we talked, I apologised and looked for couples therapy because he said to me that he was feeling a failure as a man for not providing and it was kind of my fault for not letting him pay for stuff.

We agreed he was to pay some things and would get help for the things that were missing in our relationship since in that conversation he admited was feeling lack of apreciation and on my part that I do need help in the house but not monetary but like not having to organize (grocery list, meal planning, appointments) and be the one to do the reminder because he's not paying atention.

Anyway we went to therapy a couple times and later had a sesion where he said he feels we need space and puts on the table that we should live apart for some time, I said I didn't wanted to say 'no' because if it's something he needs I undestand but didn't get clear how time apart would help us if the problem is him not feeling I appreciate what he does.

The therapist said we shoud do at least one month and we should stablish some rules, I have selfestime issues and don't reach to people because I feel I'm bothering them so it was going to be a month of zero contact.

Cut to one week ago, he told me he has rented a house for ONE YEAR, he's not planning on living with anyone for the moment and he wants me to know I can still count on him and will give me his address in case of emergency.

I was shocked I didn't undestud what he was talking about I felt he was breaking up with me, he explained he felt what he needs is his own place so he could have something of his own and work on his issues but loves me and wants to stay together but just like have a date when he has time because he has so much work right now.

I'm heart broken, been crying everyday since, can't eat, can't sleep I know it souds over dramatic but it's real I have never felt this way and I don't know what to do I feel worthless and betrayed because he didn't even talked to me about it before taking such an important decission.

He is the love of my life, I know this doesn't say much about our relationship but he is the only thing in my life I was feeling sure about.

We haven't talk since because he really has tons of work out of City but we will be meeting next week. What should I say? I don't want him to stay because he feels sorry for me, but I really think we being apart won't work. I feel so lost.

TL;DR After taking couple therapy me (30f) and my partner (30m) of 5 years decided to give us some space for one month but he just told me he rented a house for a year, I'm devastated. What shoud I say about it?

Edit: Format

Edit 2: Thank you all, this was really helpful. There was feelings I hadn't been able to put into words and this has given me more clarity, I trust the time you took to answer and the help you give in this platform will be paid in full.

I hope you all have a wonderful life.

Submitted April 24, 2021 at 07:20PM by AllergiesSeason https://ift.tt/3dVmsrv