My [25M] friend [25M] said something obscene on Facebook and my girlfriend [22F] is furious at me and is threatening to break up with me because she thinks I "said something" to him.

Hoo boy the last few days have not been fun for me.

So my girlfriend hosts a local radio show and I posted a Facebook status telling "Hey everyone, tune in to [radio station] tonight at [time] for [my girlfriend's show] to hear her spin some great stuff!" because, well, I love promoting her radio show, it's a great show.

Well, the first reply is from a friend of mine who is.... we'll say he's not all there. He's got some mental illness issues and his humor is often extremely inappropriate and he can't seem to grasp the "why" of why such things aren't cool. In fact, he and I have had some strained relations lately because it seems I can't bring him anywhere without creeping people out or making things awkward. WELLLLL.... He replies with "AND JAM IT IN HER ASS AFTERWARDS, BRO!!!"

I delete his comment and before I could even DM him, like, mere seconds, the phone rings.

It's her.

Now, my girlfriend has.... a bit of a temper. She has serious anxiety issues. As in the slightest thing can set off a screaming match, breaking things, etc. and it can take a while for her to calm down.

I answer and I'm nearly deafened by her screaming "DID YOU DELETE THAT OBSCENE THING YOUR FRIEND SAID?!"

I tell her "Yes, I did, that was SERIOUSLY fucked up of him to say, I'm about to say something to him right now. I'm so sorry you had to have him do that and say such a horrible thing about you, I'm so pissed at him righ-"

"YOU'RE pissed?! YOU'RE pissed?! What about ME?! FUCK YOU! Always making it about YOU and how it makes YOU look! I feel fucking degraded and YOU'RE the one who feels bad?! What have you been telling him about us? Have you said something to him about you and me that would make him think it's okay to say that?!"

"Honey, no, my friend has some issues and he's not exactly got a very good sense of humor. In fact our friendship has been on the rocks and-"

"Give me a reason why he said it. Give me a fucking reason. I feel so dirty and disgusted right now. You know what? Contact him right now and if you don't get the resolution I feel I need, you and I are through. I'm serious."

I DM him- with her still on the phone- and I'm like "Dude, that was fucked up of you to say. I'm on the phone with her right now and she's literally screaming at me for what you've said."

"Dude bro it was a joke"

"Well it wasn't a funny joke, because she is flipping her shit. She's even thinking about breaking up with me."

"Tell her it is an incantation, a way of us expressing our ancient Scottish heritage" (note: he is not Scottish, he's just spouting gibberish)

I relay to her the stupid shit he said, making it clear I'm not having anymore of this and she goes "Oh, yeah, great, that makes all the sense in the world. Just like you allowing this to happen and then claiming to love me makes all the sense in the world. You know what? Just.... don't talk to me for a few days. I'm off to do my show, but I need to think about whether or not this relationship is worth salvaging because your personality is shown by the company you keep. And I'm not sure I like what I see here. I'll talk to you in a few days with my decision." and with that she hung up on me.

I go back to DMing my friend and say "Well, thanks dude, she said she doesn't want to talk to me for a few days while she thinks over whether or not to break up with me because of what you said. Are you happy now, asshole?"

He says to me "Damn, look, I'm sorry.... Okay, what I said was fucked up, but I gotta say maybe there's something more going on here, because most couples I know don't break up over something like this."

I told him to never speak to me again and I blocked him and his number. And so here I am, I had to cut ties with a friend because he's being an asshat, and his asshattery may very well have destroyed my relationship with my partner.

Where do I go from there?.........

EDIT/UPDATE: After reading a wall of unanimous replies, I think you guys are right: if she's going to break up with me over something my friend said, then that's on her, not on me. And yeah, this relationship has really been wearing on me. I was my father's (literal) punching bag the entirety of my upbringing and I was my 1st and 2nd partners' punch bag too.... it's time to break this cycle.

TL;DR: Friend said something obscene about my girlfriend, my girlfriend is blaming me for it, say she's considering breaking up with me.

Submitted April 28, 2021 at 02:55PM by BigTimeThrowawayHey https://ift.tt/2R8aema