TLDR: How do I find the courage to leave my deadbeat husband? Why do I feel guilty for putting myself first?
I'm 40f and my husband is 45m. We have been married for 14 years. No children. Been together since we were both in grad school. Our marriage is nothing more than a friendship at this point and not even a good one. I find myself compromising my values and beliefs on the regular regarding our situation. He is presently unemployed. He is not looking for a job. He attempted to open a small business but it was unsuccessful and now he does nothing. He stays home and smokes pot all day. He has no motivation, no ambition, no drive (looking back, these traits were always present on him but in lesser degrees). I am not okay with any of this and he knows explicitly how I feel but yet here I am, sick to my stomach, seeking the input from people of Reddit. I know I cannot stay in this marriage and be true to myself but I am deeply struggling knowing that I am going to hurt him when I tell him to leave, that I want a divorce. Despite how unhappy, unfulfilled and lonely I am, this is my present road block. I'm a feisty woman who confidently speaks her mind but this situation has me stuck. Hoping someone here can offer some help, advice or feedback. Thanks.
Submitted April 29, 2021 at 04:16PM by Skyofstone https://ift.tt/3t4YfDg
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