I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. We have lived together for a little over 1.5 years. About 1.5 years into our relationship I caught him with photos of my private journal on his phone. I was horrified and told him that if it happened again, that would be the end of it. I forgave him and moved on.
Fast forward a little over a year ago (pre-COVID). I started having some unexplainable doubts about the relationship. I had this general sense of unhappiness and was questioning if this was the right relationship for me. There wasn't anything specific he was doing or not doing that led to these feelings, making it all that more frustrating. These feelings also weren't constant - they would come and go in waves of a few weeks at a time. I started seeing a therapist to work on things.
Fast forward to now, a few weeks shy of our 4 year anniversary. I'm still dealing with these feelings of doubt, and it's really affecting our relationship and making us both sad. Two weeks ago he and I decide to improve our communication by doing daily check ins to see how I feel. After doing that for about 10 days, he sat me down and told me that out of desperation for answers to why I was feeling these things, he read my journal behind my back about a week prior. I was so upset that he betrayed me like that, especially since things seemed to had gotten better once we did the daily check ins.
I'm at a loss of what to do. I know with love comes forgiveness, and I do love him a lot. However, I was already coping with doubts, and he broke my biggest boundary for a second time. He says he is incredibly sorry, regrets everything, and will never do it again. But 1) he said that the first time, and 2) any trust I had in order to believe him when he says he won't do it again is now gone. I think he is speaking what he believes to be true, but who's to say there won't be another incidence of weakness/desperation in the future.
I'd appreciate any feedback from this community.
TL;DR - my boyfriend (23) read my (F25) journal for the second time in our relationship. The two incidences are about 2-3 years apart. I'm at a loss of what to do - should I leave or should I give him another chance?
Submitted April 28, 2021 at 04:44PM by nikkiwankenobi https://ift.tt/3eGgfi2
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