My boyfriend and I have very large income differences. My NW is around 1.2 million and I earn roughly $400k per year. He has 30k in debt and earns around $80k per year.
I love him and we’ve been together 5 years. From the beginning, I said I never want to get married and he said he’s okay with that, as we both don’t come from happy families, and he’s ambivalent about marriage too. We both don’t want kids.
The thought of being legally bound to someone for the rest of my life scares the beejesus out of me. I know first-hand how fast and unpredictably feelings and people can change, and how expensive and financially devastating divorces can be, especially for the higher-earning partner. That said, I do see a (hopefully) long and happy monogamous relationship for us.
Given that we don’t want kids, I never want to get married or share finances. I am about to buy a house and when I do, my boyfriend can live there rent-free or contribute to groceries. When we vacation, I don’t mind paying the bulk of it. If he wants my financial advice I am more than happy to help advise and/or maybe even help pay off some of his student loans.
But in no way do I want to share my money with him (or anyone) in the sense that my take-home salary is now jointly ours and belongs to both of us. And in the case where if we break up, I would have to owe him anything or split any of my current assets.
Am I being selfish? One of my friends was saying the whole point of being in a relationship is that you share your wealth financially as one team. If I’m being honest, if we were in the same financial position, I think it would make a lot more sense to share things together. I do feel selfish that I am making a lot more than him and have a lot more assets and don’t want to share, but at the same time I feel like I’ve worked extremely hard to be where I am and I want to remain financing independent and in total control of my money.
TLDR: boyfriend and I have a wide income disparity, I never want to share finances or get married, is this selfish?
Submitted April 28, 2021 at 11:16PM by flowersxoxox https://ift.tt/3t1PMkm
No comments:
Post a Comment