We've been together for three years, most of them long distance as we live in different countries, three hours away from each other. Just for clarification, there's no language barrier - our languages are extremely similar. We're also both full-time uni students.
To the issue: I've always been very into art and decided to pick up face painting two-ish years ago. I started posting my work on Instagram, because why not. I paint mostly illusions, 3D stuff and special effects and would love to make prosthetics for movies once I finish uni. To my surprise, the account kinda blew up. I didn't expect it because I'm hella socially awkward, my English isn't that great and I can easily go weeks without opening the app if I'm busy. About a year in, I got my first paid offer and have been sporadically making money off of it ever since. It's not big money but it helps a lot when you're a student. I've been able to take my boyfriend on a fancy (for us, lol) trip for his birthday thanks to this and see him way more often.
Now, the things that are bothering me:
- The first time I showed my page to him, he took the phone out of my hand, scrolled through the comments, read them out loud and made fun of everyone, calling them 'dumb fangirling Instagram bitches'. That's how he's been referring to anyone even just remotely related to the field ever since.
- Every time I wear some more 'out there' makeup when we're together, he makes mean comments about it. Some of the milder ones include telling me that my eyeshadow looks moldy or that I shouldn't wear eyeliner because it makes my eyes look wrinkly. Stuff like that.
- One time I made some money just before the summer (more trips!), so I wanted to share the news with him. He told me that he 'pities the dads who work all day just for their daughters to go spend all the money on such bullshit (face paint I used that day)' and that if his kids did something like that, he'd put them up for adoption. It wasn't anything extravagant, just basic face paint that goes for pretty cheap and lasts forever. This happens every time I tell him that I made some money or mention anything makeup related.
- Sometimes when we're waiting in a line at a store, he'll start loudly talking about how he's 'dating an influencer' and shouting out my username sarcastically.
He sometimes says he loves my art and often tells me I'm beautiful, but then shoots me down with these comments and it's super confusing.
If I try to bring up how this makes me feel, he either:
- Starts comparing our hobbies and explains for hours why his hobby (football) is much better and actually meaningful, unlike makeup.
- Asks whether he 'has to fucking like makeup just because I like it'.
- Says he's just being objective and not making fun of me.
- Talks about how everyone in the field is shallow, stupid, pretentious and that he can't understand why I'd defend it so much (I'm quoting here, 'I know u have to appeal to the simple make up audience, but u arent actually like that, are u').
And we never get anywhere. I'm fully aware of the rep and stereotypes of both Instagram and my field and we've had a few very interesting conversations about it. The issue is that 95% of the time I say ANYTHING about makeup, it turns into a monologue on morals, values, why it's boring and stupid and so on. I don't feel like I've changed in any way - my audience isn't HUGE and I don't share the account with anyone in my life (unless they find it), but he'll tell me to 'keep the dumb Instagram bitch attitude on Instagram' if we're arguing and he doesn't agree with something I said.
Not sure how to proceed because on one hand I understand why he might have these opinions and that not everyone is into the things I'm into. On the other I can feel myself becoming a bit resentful because I always try to pay attention and be happy for him when he talks about football and I find it weird that he's so angry about a hobby that allows us to spend time together and travel. How can I explain that while I agree with some of his points, there's no need to discuss the negatives in detail every time I want to share an exciting thing? I don't want to be controlling, but I don't want to feel bad all the time.
TL;DR: I started an Instagram account that now makes money that allows us to spend more time together, but bf makes fun of me for it. It makes me sad and angry and I'm not sure what to do.
Submitted April 27, 2021 at 03:57PM by algifen https://ift.tt/3eFeCkE
No comments:
Post a Comment