TL;DR: I let my girlfriend borrow $3,000 a couple years ago and it drives me crazy when I see her spending money on other things, but doesn't make an effort to pay me back.
I'm 26 and my girlfriend is 23. A few years ago, when she was still in college and I was already working, I let her borrow $3,000 over the span of 2ish years because she was struggling a bit financially and grew up pretty poor. I had the financial freedom to be able to let her borrow that money at the time. I told her she could wait until she starts working to pay me back.
Fast forward to a couple years later, she's had a stable job for about 1.5 years now making about $65-$75K per year, but still has made no effort to pay me back. Every time I ask, she says she doesn't have the money to pay me back yet. Meanwhile, she's been investing in stocks ($15K+) and making pretty big purchases (just bought a $2K LV backpack), so to me, it seems like she has the money to pay me back but just doesn't want to yet. While I don't necessarily need the $3,000 as I have a stable job and make slightly more than her ($110Kish/year), this feels wrong to me and I can't help but feel like what she's doing is very wrong.
Every time I bring up how I feel, she always brushes it off, say she's not in the mood to talk about it, and says she's already told me she doesn't have money to pay me back. She has committed to paying me back half ($1.5K) by August after several arguments but pretty much only because I'll be going to grad school and won't be working full-time anymore. At this point, it's not really about the money to me as much as it is about feeling taken advantage of. I could have spent the $3,000 on anything but decided to help her out, yet she doesn't prioritize paying me back because she knows I don't necessarily "need" it. I think we have pretty different perspectives (if someone lent me that much money, I would prioritize paying them back asap while she argues that she lets her family borrow money all the time and doesn't care when they pay her back or what they're buying/etc.).
How do I approach this situation and what can I do for her to understand why I feel like this is wrong? She just doesn't seem to get my perspective.
Submitted April 25, 2021 at 06:03PM by throwaway_2_4_2_4_2 https://ift.tt/3dMVK46
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