I (30F) and my husband (37M) have been together for three years, married for two. He has 2 daughters, let's call them Julie (16F) and Emily (15F). These girls live with us full time and I love them very much. However, in the fall of 2019 when Emily was 13, she started doing sexual things with her friend's older brother Alex (22M currently, 19 at the time). We didn't find out until this man came to our home wearing an extravagant outfit and asked my husband for Emily's hand in marriage. My husband was of course furious and told him no and that he needed to leave. Alex refused and the police were called.
Since that day, we have been harassed nonstop by Alex. If he spent time in jail, the minute he got out he would come to our home and cause chaos, only to be sent back to jail. He has stalked Emily at her bus stop, left things on our property, and written hundreds of very disturbing letters. One day my husband found him on our porch twisting a dead bunny in his hands. It got to the point where we tried to file a stalking order, but the offices had limited hours because of the pandemic and our phone calls were never returned. We asked Emily and Julie's mother to help, but she filled out the paperwork incorrectly so it never went through. The whole experience was very frustrating.
Last spring, Alex was sent to a mental institution where he continued to send inappropriate letters. These letters suddenly stopped this past summer and it was nice to not have to think about him. Here's the kicker: we have talked to Emily at length about how Alex is mentally unstable and potentially dangerous. She is not a stupid girl, she has great grades and is quick-witted. However, she has stated since day one that she is in love with Alex and she's going to marry him someday. Despite all he's done to harass our family, she doesn't care at all and still insists that she will move in with him when she turns 18. We have pleaded with her but we have learned to leave it alone and avoid the topic with the hope that she will realize how horrible he is and change her mind.
Another thing: we have told her that despite her weird obsession, she is still to have no contact with him or his family. We moved to another nearby town a couple months ago and it made me happy to think that Alex would have no idea where we live.
Things were fine until a few days ago when my husband confiscated Julie and Emily's phones because of disrespectful behavior. He briefly looked through Emily's messages and found out that not only has she been in constant contact with Alex, she has been sharing details of where we live with him, including our address and our work schedules. I was pissed. She is not only jeopardizing her safety, but the safety of everyone in the household.
My husband has not given the girls back their phones yet and we are still unsure about what to do. We agreed that Emily probably needs to see a therapist, but we still want to ensure her safety and the safety of our family, and we can't do that while she is constantly communicating with Alex. We were thinking about trading in their iPhones for simple flip phones and changing their numbers so they wouldn't be able to access social media or contact people they were previously in contact with. This is drastic, but both my husband and I feel like it might be necessary because of the constant lies and deception. I feel bad for Julie because she technically hasn't done anything wrong (except keep dangerous secrets for her sister) but Julie is easily manipulated by Emily and we know that Emily would use Julie's iPhone if we let Julie keep it. Are there any other solutions here? I would appreciate any and all advice because this whole situation has been so confusing and frustrating.
TL;DR 15 year old stepdaughter is communicating with a dangerous person who could potentially harm our family and my husband and I don't know what to do.
Submitted April 30, 2021 at 04:35PM by averagelifeseeker https://ift.tt/3e9dTZS
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