Yeah I'm that idiot.
I (21m) starting talking to this girl (21f) last year online. We met in a college class online in November, and then I moved down to our university in January this year. She lived nearby so we started seeing each other. So we have been talking since November, starting meeting up in January. I see her usually once a week and I have met her family a few times. This is the first girl I have ever really been with, ever kissed, ever held hands with etc. We have only been seeing each other but we haven't established a gf/bf label yet.
Anyway, I screwed up big time. We were texting and she was asking me about random questions like, "would you still like me if..." type questions. So my answers were "yes", "I love your hair", etc. But me being an idiot decides to text "damn it. I am in love with you." She got very angry and shocked. And I understand why. I just unleashed a fire hydrant on her without warning. And through text on top of it. After a lot of texting back and forth about it we eventually stopped. She was confused because she said I barely know her and that we haven't even established if we were gf/bf yet. And she is totally right. I was completely in the wrong and I don't know how to fix this. I couldn't sleep the entire night. I feel absolutely terrible right now. I can't study for my midterms. I really like this girl, but now she thinks I am just dating her just to meet my own needs.
This is the first girl I have ever been with, so I barely know anything about dating. Everyday I beat myself up thinking "what mistake did I make today." "I could have said that better." "Does she hate me now for saying or doing that?" And unfortunately I was right. I told her I loved her because part of me genuinely thought I did. But after that now I know that I was taking it for granted and love actually takes time. Also I didn't even know that people establish gf/bf before saying that stuff. I am such an idiot. She also didn't like how the first time I kissed her was on the couch while we were watching a movie. I had no clue that the couch was not a good place for a first kiss. To me it felt very special, but it bothered her. I also made an idiot move of asking her if she wanted to sleep with me on a Wednesday night, because a few weeks ago we were talking about it. We have not slept together yet. I dug too many holes that I didn't know I was digging. And the more holes I dig, the harder it is for her to believe that I actually like her for who she is. I wish I had prior experience or something. I wish someone could have told me these things.
I apologized to her with a lot of paragraphs explaining how I feel and why I thought I did what I did. She told me to give her a few days to think things through because texting her was not helping. So now all I can do is wait. I am so scared though. I can't believe I screwed this up with just five words. It amazes me how dumb I am. All I can do is hope for her forgiveness, but I have to be prepared for her to let me go. And I don't even know how that is going to affect me. I like her a lot.
I guess I don't really have a question to ask. Maybe about what I can do? I am going to be patient of course. I guess I just had to let it out somewhere.
TL;DR! - I texted her "damn it. I am in love with you" way to early and now there is a lot of tension between us. There are also some other problems that arose because of how inexperienced I am in dating. She wants a few days to gather her thoughts, so I won't be bugging her. But I am so scared she is going to just let me go. What can I do to fix this?
Submitted April 25, 2021 at 02:40PM by johnpoo8123 https://ift.tt/3aBpGhK
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