My uncle won't talk to my family ever again because he wasn't invited to my wedding, and my Grandmother blames me.

Several years ago, my trump loving uncle berated me about trump at a family function. He knows that I am liberal, but because it was a family gathering, I chose not to engage with him, so not to create a scene. He was so relentless that my sister and an aunt had to tell him to leave me alone, while I hid outside in the dark so to avoid the harassment. The next day, I overheard my uncle bragging to another family member about how much he had upset me, validating my perception of his intentions of being malicious. When he was leaving that day to return home, he decided to lecture me in front of my dad and his 10 year old son about how he knows more than me because he is older and people's political beliefs change as they get older; insinuating that I would become conservative. I had never in my life talked to him about politics, but was so annoyed by his patronizing lecture that I pushed back and said, "I would argue I am more informed about politics than you are. In fact, you weren't even aware of this policy change that directly impacts your business." He grumbled hugged me, and then left. About an hour later, I got a text message from him saying, "I'm very disappointed in you for disrespecting me in front of my son. You have put politics before family, and that is very sad. You have changed, but we all do." I didn't respond, as this was ridiculous and a blatant attempt at gas-lighting.

Over the course of the next 3 years, I never heard from my uncle again. However, I did hear from my grandmother that my uncle was holding a grudge against me for whatever he thinks I said to him. My grandmother told me she didn't want to get involved, so I didn't talk to her about what had transpired. When he had visited the city I live in, he reached out to my sister, but not me.

When I got engaged, I emailed my uncle to let him know. He didn't respond. No call. No email. No text. My wife and I had decided to have a very very small wedding, as we don't have much money. My family is incredibly large, so I couldn't invite everyone. Because my uncle was ignoring and holding a grudge against me, I decided to not invite him to my 40 person wedding. I reached out to him to let him know that he wasn't being invited, and explained why. He told me that he was fine with my decision. However, he began threatening my parents to never speak to our family again if he wasn't invited. I confronted him about the threats, and he denied it....even though they were written in emails. He continued to say he was fine not being invited. Then he began reaching out to other members of our family demanding that they boycott my wedding. Mind you, there were others not invited, who had no problem with our decision. Also, nobody who was invited boycotted the wedding.

Fast forward two years, my uncle has cut off me, my mom and my dad...but not my sister. For about a year and half, he also cut off one of my aunt/his sister because she didn't boycott the wedding. They are talking again because my aunt caved to her brother's abuse and apologized for not taking his side.

Now my grandmother is emailing and calling me telling me that it is my fault that her family is ruined. She is telling me that if I had consulted her, she would have set everyone straight, and now her family wouldn't be ruined. Mind you, prior to the wedding, she had given me her blessing when I asked if it was ok that I not invite aunts, uncles, and cousins. My grandmother is in her 90's and incredibly distraught over this. My uncle has been a terror in everyone's lives his entire life. He is like a mini trump. Everyone is so afraid of his abusive conduct that they would never dare hold him accountable. I chose to not invite him to my wedding as a consequence for his behavior, and now I am responsible for his current behavior, in my grandmother's eyes. This all stems from my grandmother who verbally terrorized her children their entire lives. She modeled this behavior, and now she is lashing out at me, my mom, and my dad. My mom is so upset that her brother won't speak to her, and she is wrecked from my grandmother saying awful things to her.

I'm just so sick of hearing about this, and I feel awful for my wife. For the rest of our lives, our wedding will be associated with my uncle cutting off part of the family, and my grandmother being distraught and blaming me.

I don't know what to do. I just want everyone to leave me alone. What do you think Reddit?

tl;dr My uncle terrorized me at a family function, then gaslighted me and ignored me for 3 years. When he wasn't invited to my wedding, he stopped speaking to my family and now my grandmother blames me.

Submitted April 25, 2021 at 03:23PM by bbgbb https://ift.tt/3gFazHM