My (26F) entire family is angry at me and my sister (23F) for cutting off our emotionally and physically abusive addict mother (54F).

To sum it up, my sister in and I have been in and out of foster care our entire lives because of our physically and emotionally abusive drug addicted and mentally ill (bipolar) mother. Our mother has had every opportunity given to her: rehab programs, nursing homes, residential homes, staying with countless family members and squanders quite literally every single opportunity by fighting with staff, other members, or family members over small arbitrary things or because she just stops taking her meds or because she just wants to use drugs. She’s never been clean for all this time more than a year.

Our grandparents called us because she got kicked out of yet another nursing home for starting yet another fight, and her social worker has said before she got kicked out of the last nursing home that she’s exhausted and ruined every single option she has and they, along with two aunts (50sF) and an uncle (40F) are now angry that we won’t take her in again. I specifically told her the last time I took her in before she went to another nursing home that if she ruined this opportunity I would not be helping her again. She got a haircut and her roommate made an unkind comment so my mother started a physical fight with her about that and proceeded to get kicked out. This is quite literally the 9th or 10th home she’s been kicked out of. I need you to understand it’s not always fights; sometimes she breaks the rules and has drug addict visitors try to smuggle things in and she’s been removed for that; she’s lied about where she’s going and been removed for that etc. The family members that are angry at us for not taking her in again because she’s currently staying with our 90 year old grandparents (who she lied to from the beginning; she said she wanted to say hi and show them her haircut and showed up with a $100 cab fare that she MADE THEM pay and all her bags and demanded to stay there) have never once taken her in so they have no idea what she’s like to live with. She’s shown absolutely zero remorse for any of her actions even when she’s on her meds and clean from drugs, she’s increasingly entitled and impatient even when people move their entire lives around for her, and my sister and I don’t even consider her a mother at this point and quite frankly never have. I don’t want this issue to cause a rift in the entire family but it’s starting to and I’m not sure what to say or how to handle the other family members basically ganging up on us, especially when they’ve never dealt with or tried to help her themselves. Guess I’m just looking for advice on how to explain myself to them so they don’t stay angry over this because I have no personal issues with them.

TLDR: Our mom keeps getting kicked out of rehab programs and nursing programs due to her incredibly violent behavior and me and my sister won’t allow her to stay with us again. Our grandparents, uncles and aunts are all extremely upset with us and want us to take her in again.

Submitted April 25, 2021 at 01:57PM by Kind-Owl3629 https://ift.tt/32LQ1VJ