I [21F] feel like my boyfriend[24M] is closer to my sister[18F] and i don’t know how to feel about it.

my boyfriend [8 months] is awesome and loving. I love my sister, we are however not very close and are unable to have proper communication despite trying. that is just how siblings are, i still love her very much. I am just uncomfortable that my sister talks to my boyfriend more than me. She says that he is awesome and that I do not treat him right. He comes over quite often and we do fight sometimes. I get mad. she says that he drives so much to come and I get mad at him. She is able to share stuff with him and not me. I understand, I am not the most empathetic person I guess. but I try to talk to her. Initially, my boyfriend said that he wouldn’t keep things from me. he actually doesn’t. I respect his privacy always. but they talk about stuff, i am not supposed to know about because she trusts him and is able to share with him. not me. he said that he tells her stuff that i know of but i don’t need to know what stuff. This doesn’t really matter, i am just pondering upon it now. when we play games, they always team up together. They understand each other and they play well. I get it. I sometimes mess up. They seem to be able to communicate well and pick up hints. I don’t really. but my sister said that he prefers playing with her over me. i didn’t bother. The next day we were playing, just my boyfriend and I, he said that he would rather play with my sister or alone, i was fucking up a lot in the game. we talked about that later, he said that it was nothing, he is just very competitive which is true.

we had another argument because I asked my sisters not to be on the phone and i was on mine. he was very pissed about it. but i see and understand why. we slept just went to sleep next to each that night. then the following morning, in a conversation, he said that I didn’t get any last night, in front of my sister. I don’t talk about these kind of stuff with her and I am not comfortable with this. I confronted him and he said that said that she is an adult. then i told him that she is my sister, not his friend, he said that she was his friend. I am not comfortable with the relationship they share given that I don’t share the same relationship with my sister. I posted an inappropriate adult nsfw tweet, my boyfriend is the only person i know irl which follows me on tweeter. he asked me to show my sister the tweet, I said no. he said that he will. I got mad and he didn’t. its nothing really. My sister also just told me that if my boyfriend and i breakup, she will keep talking to him. I said we are not breaking up, but fine. my sister is mean and rude when my boyfriend is around, when he isn’t around, she isn’t. we actually barely talk. that icks me. it sounds like I suspect something not platonic going on between them. I seriously don’t. I love them both to bits. they do too. I am just uncomfortable with this situation and i am not sure how to address it. I love that they are able to have a bond and my sister is able to open up. but i feel left out and i feel uncomfortable. How should I address this situation? i feel like i should just bury it.

Edit to add this: I also found a video of him tying her hair up which my little cousin filmed on his phone. he treats her like his little sister, which is fine with me. But I am not comfortable with inappropriate comments about us in front of her. about me liking to be slapped and stuff like that.

update: [UPDATE] my boyfriend [24M] and sister[18F] closer than i am to her.

I talked to him about the inappropriate comments that he made, he said that she is an adult and that they don’t see this as inappropriate. my boyfriend said that he will try to be respectful around me but they do talk about stuffs that i may find inappropriate. an example would be what my sister may want in a man or something. he needs to have stamina. that’s what he told me when i asked what kind of stuff he thinks that i would find inappropriate and they don’t. he would never disclose what they talk out of respect for their privacy. my boyfriend said that she trusts him enough to open up, and i agree that he should protect the confidentiality. He said that she is an adult and she doesn’t find certain stuffs inappropriate, what is inappropriate to me isn’t to her. he sees her as a friend. that’s how he would treat his little sister if he had any.

my sister is a very reserved person and rarely opens up. I am happy and grateful that she is able to do that with my sister. I am unable to be here for her and left a space that my boyfriend now fills. He said that If i explicitly say it, he would stop being friendly with her or if he calls her out, she would just regress which is very true. she has someone that she can trust and i don’t want to take that away from her. i am still not okay with the inappropriate part but i can come to terms that they are adults. I would be okay if any of his friends would talk casually or joke about inappropriate stuff. to be honest, the inappropriate stuffs’ feels kinda ambiguous. I trust my boyfriend with my life. and my sister too.

TL;DR! my boyfriend and my sister are very close. he considers her a friend. they text. my boyfriend made inappropriate remarks in front of her and says that she is an adult. I am unsure how to deal with this. i

Submitted April 06, 2021 at 11:52PM by EcstaticLevel420 https://ift.tt/2PL9set