My sister (32F) copy-cats everything I (23M) do and follows me everywhere I go. Now its starting to make me very unconfortable and trapped.

I moved back into my parents house after a bad breakup about a year ago, and have been feeling pretty good since. Since then, my sister and I have been talking and hanging out more, especially with the quarantine here in the US. As I began establishing myself in my room, my sister has slowly been copying the things I buy/do for myself, but completely taking over the project as her own. For example, I adopted a pair of pet rats and had put the cage in my room. Not even a week later, my sister also adopted two rats, placed them in my cage and now completely controls when they come out of their cage, how we train them, what they eat, ect... I cannot do anything to their cage without her permission/approval, when I tried to she got defensive and hurt to the point of tears for leaving her out. I never knew what to say to her so I just didn't say anything. As time progressed, she seems to be everywhere I am. If i am in my room working on my homework at my desk, she is laying on my bed scrolling through her phone. If I am in the living room or garage playing video games/exploring my hobbies, she is doing the same exact thing right next to me. Anytime I try and hide and have personal alone time, she asks why I am ignoring her and what she did wrong for me to be angry at her.

More recently, I have changed my major to horticulture/plant science and have been exploring many gardening techniques, and even started my own business focused around these concepts. Now, I feel a deep rooted anxiety and fear of moving forward from my sister because she has now changed her major to the same thing, now maintains and waters my garden, wants in on my business ventures and now wants to go to school with me. Once I heard that, my heart dropped because I do feel as if I have a sense of self anymore and now everything I do is almost 100% dependent on my sisters time, motivation, and mood.

As I have progressed into this career, I have had an opportunity to move to the netherlands and possibly work in the tulip fields. This opportunity was very exciting for me as I have always dreamed of moving out of the country and seeing new places. Sure enough, my sister is now asking me to teach her the dutch language, is researching possible field jobs, and trying to save up enough money to fully move to the netherlands with me. At this point I am at a loss for what to do. I feel like anything I try to do for myself must be planned and thought out for two people, and if I dont have a plan that suits my sister, I am afraid I may lose her friendship.

tl;dr sister has been attaching herself to my almost all my lifeplans and now I feel trapped and have to plan my life out to accompany her.

Submitted July 20, 2020 at 01:20PM by yyamallamaa https://ift.tt/2ZMSy1n