They’re great, but they’re broke: Financially supporting my (37) partner (33) while they try to start a creative career.

Tl;dr My partner is great and a good match for me, but they’re so broke trying to pursue a creative career, they can’t help me with any of my dreams. I don’t want to support them, but I don’t know if money is enough to end a good relationship.

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My partner seems like the whole package. Attractive, funny, weird, talented, intuitive and sweet. They cook and clean. They take care of our pets and are generally keeping our entire household running.

They are also broke af and always have been. They’re pursuing a creative career and have had some minimal success, but I’d say it’s at best a small side hustle right now. I have a high paying job and I’m looking to enjoy the things this affords. I want to buy a home, travel, eat out, but doing this stuff and supporting us both is putting a strain on what should be a pretty easy life. Covid has obviously made things even more difficult, but even before this they were just barely making ends meet when we were splitting bills. A big trip or anything over pretty basic bills and expenditures meant me laying all the cash out up front while they spent months paying me back. Now I’m basically completely supporting us while they chip in minimally to cover shortfalls.

I’ve been up front since the beginning that I do not want to financially support a partner while they try to find themselves, and they always assured me it wouldn’t be that way, but here we are. I have spent years looking the other way and I own that.

I do not want to force my partner to give up their dreams but the reality if that my life isn’t structured in a way that is compatible with living hand to mouth to allow space for trying to make this career take off. I don’t want my partner to resent me for making me give up their dreams so that I can remodel a bathroom or take a vacation.

I don’t want to make this whole relationship about money.

Their contributions to keeping our day to day physical life running smoothly are considerable and real. Emotionally we are a good match. But this is giving way to resentment for me having to work at a job I dislike in order to support us - I have no flexibility because I keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. I don’t want it to turn sour and ruin everything we’ve built. I don’t want to stay in a relationship because I’m afraid to be alone or afraid of how much harder my life will be logistically without a partner to help me.

Have you been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Submitted July 26, 2020 at 10:30AM by CookieMonsterDidIt https://ift.tt/3044Jak