My husband’s sister (my SIL) has three young kids. We live close to them but are not very close.
They seem to not want to see us. After much time, we’ve started to feel very used. We’re only invited over when they want something from us, are blown off when we try to make plans, don’t bring anything when they do come over, ask us to pick up all food and drinks when we are invited (when they expect my husband to do manual labor and me to clean), etc.
Our nieces and nephews are really sweet. Past years, we’ve gone all out for gifts (over $200 each) and got super fun stuff for all holidays and birthdays. We don’t have kids so it can’t be reciprocated which I get, but we rarely see them. We do get very clear thank you notes.
We first stopped giving my SIL and BIL birthday gifts (we never get any back and don’t see them on their birthdays) but still do presents for the kids. However, I really want to stop birthday presents. We’re not invited to birthday parties (only their friends and grandparents are) or even to come down and celebrate with them at any point. We end up dropping the gifts off or giving them to grandparents to give.
We do see them the week before Christmas, so I’m fine to keep giving Christmas gifts, but want them to be on the smaller end. We each got a $10 gift card for Christmas from them. While I’m not weighing gifts against each other, it just feels like they don’t want much to do with us and kind of want the gifts, since they’ll ask if they can give input on the gifts this year (my SIL and BIL).
However, my MIL will constantly say “don’t forget to pick up ______ a birthday present!” And text us both to remind us. Is it inappropriate to stop giving birthday presents if we don’t actually see the children? Should we be invited to a party I would 100% bring a gift. But, if it’s better, we can give small gifts for every holiday.
TL:dr; we don’t see my nieces and nephews often and want to cut back on the presents. Is this unfair to the kids since they’re little? (All under 10)
Submitted July 29, 2020 at 05:18PM by talaladiuly https://ift.tt/30cyqpA
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