I made another post on a different reddit page, but I'm hoping for more advice if that's okay.
I'm leaving in 40 mins to go to the beach with her and now I'm going to talk with her about what I found. Yesterday, I was making dinner and had to look up a video, my phone was dead so I used hers. On youtube, her recent searches was things like "Pregnancy announcement to husband" "Bun in the oven pregnancy announcement"
I just want to vent. I'm in school and working my ass off to pay rent, take care of her and her eldery dad (Who's basically a father figure to me) we live in a 2 bedroom apartment in the heart of Vancouver, Canada. Where the rent prices are insanely high. She works PT (30 hrs a week) at a daycare centre as she has her ECE.. planning to become a kindergarten teacher though. We don't make much, but we are surviving. I can't imagine having a baby on our combined income and giving him/her a good life, I don't want my future child to have the upbringing I did where I skipped meals and lived in the ghetto. She comes from the same type of childhood but has a very rough start to life as her mom abused both her and her dad and left them homeless for an entire year until they moved to Vancouver to be closer with extended family.
Okay, now about 30 mins until we leave. My heart is racing. I cried in the bathroom earlier and felt sick to my stomach all day long, she's so sweet and I don't want to hurt her by having this reaction but at the same time - We simply aren't ready to be parents realistically. Abortion isn't an option because of my religion, so if it turns out she is pregnant; we are going to struggle like our parents did. Maybe not as bad, but this wasn't what I hoped for.
Regardless, I'm going to bring it up tonight and say "I saw what you looked up on youtube - are you pregnant? Or something of the sorts. Idk what exactly to say. Idk who to talk to. I feel like giving up at this point and I just so badly want to know what the future holds.
TL;DR I found my fiancé's search history that had pregnancy announcements. I'm going to ask her tonight if she's pregnant. I'm very worried because we aren't ready to be parents, I'm having trouble coping.
UPDATE: Just got home. Thanks for all the replies and advice, it's just what I needed. So, she's pregnant. I won't get into the slip up that happened but we are both mutually at fault. And yes she was on Depo and it expired mid June. She says she's 8, almost 9 weeks and due in early March of next year. She doesn't know the gender and Im not sure what time we will find out, but she thinks it's a boy. She is upset about this, feels like it's all her fault and she's ruining "my life plans" but my life is her life. I got her back throughout everything. She is the love of my life I put a ring on her finger for a reason. We talked & cried for hours tonight, it was kind of like falling in love all over again. We agreed to move to Ontario where I have my parents to kinda help us out and move into a bigger (and cheaper) home. I'll finish my program by then and there will be airports nearby I can find work at. I'm excited, filled with lots of mixed emotions but overall excited. I know I've been stressing out but after talking to her for awhile, we worked out a solid plan and will make things work. We'll book an ultrasound and get prenatal medication in the morning and I'll do some reading on how to help her during this time.
I'm scared, but I'm actually going to be a dad and this feeling is amazing. I cried my eyes out so much they're red, I'm so scared for the future but excited at the same time. Goodnight reddit family.
Submitted July 26, 2020 at 05:30PM by snehxyuxjsne https://ift.tt/3jGrybL
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