i've(27f) just realised that my friend(26m) of 3 years uses me as a backup for when he doesn't have anyone else to hang out with

I'm very much an introvert, I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have, I am very close to.

One of these is a bit flaky, but he told me he was suffering from depression and frequent panic attacks, so when he cancelled last minute, I would be supportive. He would tell me that he couldn't get out of bed, couldn't see people, wouldn't be good company etc.

We've known each other for 3 years and this happened relatively frequently.

We both moved to different countries for a bit, but would visit each other and hang out. We changed a lot, I focused on my career, he became a model (yay to being white in an asian country) started doing some drugs but was still a chill person

Recently I moved to his country for work. We made plans to meet up my first evening there, but he was 'tired from work', he rearranged to the next day, that day, he 'finished late' and had to wake up early the next day, so rearranged to the next evening. That day I met some people and we went for a hike, they wanted to get food after, and I felt like I was making friends pretty easily, but had plans with the og friend. Knowing how flaky he was I text and he replied that he was just finishing at work and would head right over. I excused myself and went to the meeting point. 15 mins after he was meant to be there I messaged and he told me he was too tired and wouldn't be good company.

I was pretty pissed off and replied with 'fine' but then said i'd like to see him anyway. He didn't reply for a while which was strange as he wasn't meant to be doing anything.

Checked my whatsapp and had a message from a different friend saying that she'd seen him in someone's IG story that day (she was telling me because shes paranoid about covid and he was with a bunch of people).

I asked him what he was doing and he claimed he was just getting off the train from work.

Sent him the screenshot of him hanging out with friends. No reply.

3 years of 'friendship' and this is what he does. I wasted 3 of my evenings waiting for him and he was just seeing people he actually liked.

I'm so hurt, as I genuinely thought we were close. We'd ring each other after breakups, talk for hours etc. and now he's behaving like this...

I just feel so gullible and used.

tl;dr friend of 3 years makes plans with me and flakes at the last minute for what sound like valid reasons. turns out he just got a better offer to hang out with his 'cool' friends so ditched me.

Submitted July 31, 2020 at 03:26AM by whyyoualwayslying22 https://ift.tt/319dTBs