My wife said that family comes first, before me. How do I move forward knowing this? Am I in the wrong for being upset that I don’t come first?

Ever since we have been married I noticed that my wife has seemed to care about her family more than me. This was shown in many different ways. The problem is that with me being her partner, I always expected to be out first I’ve family. I always make sure she comes first over mine. This was a promise we made in our vows to each other. From the time we have been dating it has seemed obvious that she cares about them more than me. I thought that this would change when we were married. It didn’t.

So there’s a few major things that sparked this conversation with her. Her brother and I have the same birthday somehow. She always chooses to celebrate his and gets him more than she does me. I’m not huge on presents, so it’s not that I don’t receive as much that bothers me. She hardly acknowledges that it’s my birthday on that day. It all revolves around him (he’s 5 years older than me). Whenever I hang out with her and her family she always pays more attention to her parents and siblings and leaves me alone. She also never really says anything about me on social media and stuff. She always posts pictures of her having a good time with her siblings. The last obvious thing I’d say that she has done was when she skipped a banquet where I received an award from work to go to dinner with her parents.

I finally had noticed this enough to bring up how I felt to her. I explained that I always felt like I was in second place to her family. She looked at me and said “well of course you are, they are my family” she explained that she has known them way longer than me (obviously) and that they will always come before a significant other. I was pretty hurt by this. She said that I was being immature by acting hurt by this.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? Are you supposed to be second to your partners family?

TL;DR - I am in second place to my wife’s family. Am I wrong for feeling bad about this?

Submitted July 27, 2020 at 12:22PM by ThrowRaOkey https://ift.tt/3g70wIe