Obligatory apology for the formatting/ I’m on a mobile phone.
Been with my partner for nearly 4 years now, we have a child together and another one on the way. He works away and is only home every other weekend. He’s on his out for drinks tonight and I was cleaning the bedroom, I moved his bag and caught a glimpse of a condom in the front pocket. I feel I may have been too aggressive but I messaged him about what I’d found and said I don’t want to speak to him about it over messages and I’ll see him later.
-this may or may not be important but this happened when I was pregnant with my first, (that time they were a different type of condom, which is what is freakin’ next out so much) and he reassured me that his friend gave them to him bla bla long story short we worked through it I trusted him enough and he didn’t get confrontational and was really understanding about why I was upset-
His reply to my message has really floored me, he’s really defensive and seems to be angry at me for being upset about finding it.
“if you think I had something to hide why would I leave them so easy for you to find? i found them in my draw with some other stuff. it’s probably the same one you went nuts about years ago. ive got a handful of them if you want to have one too.”
I’m just so confused I don’t know what to do. I know my hormones are super whack at the moment and if I’m being unreasonable there is just NO reason for him to have them in the first place. We’re in a long term committed relationship with kids, don’t use condoms- never have, and we don’t even have sex at the moment because he feels uncomfortable about “poking the baby”.
I agree with him with the fact about him leaving them around so easy for me to find, we have a house together and I’m cleaning his shit all the time but it’s just... wouldn’t he expect me to react this way if I found them? I don’t like the hostility and the fact he’s obviously been keeping them lying around, they serve no purpose at this moment in time and never have for the past 4 years.
I’m really bad with confrontation, I can’t speak rationally when I’m under pressure and I know I’ll either have a stupid breakdown or end up apologising to him. When he comes home I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to handle this, I don’t know if this is as serious as I think it is. We’re so open with each other about everything and our relationship has been great, even better than it has been for months since we’ve found out we’re pregnant. We’ve just got a house together and he’s invested so much into it I really thought we had it all together and now I’m just second guessing everything.
TLDR- I’m 8 months pregnant, found a condom in my partners bag despite not ever having used them, when confronted about it he got really defensive and it’s hurt my feelings.
Submitted July 31, 2020 at 10:55AM by loosebaggage https://ift.tt/314frg8
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