Throwaway account. I've been dating my bf for less than a year. Overall we have a pretty solid relationship, but something came up recently that I need perspective on.
My bf has been friends with John for years. They went to high school together and share some of the same friends. I knew nothing about John other than my bf briefly mentioning him at times (always something like "he's kind of obnoxious but a cool guy"), and I was never invited when my bf and John would hang out with their mutual friends. I met John a total of one time when the three of us went out for lunch one day and that was it.
Well recently I got a new job, and lo and behold, John happened to work there as well. Total coincidence and entirely unplanned. Since I'm awkward and suck at making new friends, I started talking to John at work and turns out he's pretty nice. He invited my bf and I to hang at his place sometime, so I said sure, but when I talked to my bf about it he was vehemently against it. He said the thought of hanging with John and their other friends really stresses him out, and that he wants to avoid talking to them.
Now, neither of us have ever cheated or done anything untrustworthy. My bf has tons of female friends that he regularly talks to and spends time with (sometimes alone, sometimes with me), and though I've been a little jealous here and there, I have never, EVER stopped him from hanging out with friends. So, using that logic, I asked if my bf would be ok with me hanging out with John myself since he was clearly stressed about it. My bf begged and pleaded with me not to. I asked if he was scared I'd cheat or something, and he said he wasn't, but that he couldn't bare the thought of me being around/getting to know John and their other friends.
I got annoyed by this because I literally never hang out with anyone other than my bf. Like I said, I'm not good at making/keeping friends. Yet my bf is a social butterfly, always invited to parties and always talking to someone different. When John invited both of us to hang out, I felt really happy that someone other than my bf finally wanted to spend time with me. We had a bit of a fight about it (that ended in me begrudgingly agreeing to not hang out with John and their friends and only to talk to John at work), and I have to admit I'm still upset.
Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? I don't want to come across as emotionally abusive or whatever for being mad about this.
tldr; Bf begged me not to be friends/hang out with a guy he has known for years (and their other friends). He dislikes them and got upset at the thought of me being around them.
Submitted July 29, 2020 at 02:11PM by gfds334 https://ift.tt/2P9DGE1
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