Why does my (21F) boyfriend (22M) still decide to hang out with his friend who tried to sleep with me?

Almost a year ago, my boyfriend was out of town on a work trip. During this time, his “best friend” came to my apartment to help with some car issues (he’s a mechanic of sorts) and instead of helping, he tried seducing me. The whole interaction made me feel uncomfortable; from him walking in with no shirt on, to him lying to me about how long my boyfriend would be away. He even told me that my boyfriend, his supposed best friend, wasn’t a good boyfriend. He also made vulgar comments to me about how much I must masturbate since he’s been gone. Of course, I asked him to leave, albeit too politely because I am too polite of a person. It took me several minutes to try and get him to leave, and once he did, I didn’t know how to tell my boyfriend. So, I didn’t..until about a week later. I called him since he was still away and his initial reaction was that he was angry and never wanted to talk to him again.

A few weeks later however, mI found out that they were still talking. After my boyfriend came back from his trip, they even started hanging out again. I confronted my boyfriend about this, in tears, explaining how badly this hurt me and how disrespected I felt. This is the only time my boyfriend has told me that he didn’t want to talk to me. I kept pushing and my boyfriend simply stated that he had forgiven his friend. But what about me? How can you you forgive your friend for something he has done to me? I don’t understand. I feel so disgusted, but every time I bring it up, he shuts down and won’t talk.

And even more recently, I discovered that this “best friend” of his, slept with my boyfriends very drunk sister at my boyfriends 21st birthday party in the very next room! It’s important to bring up, that his “best friend” doesn’t drink! His sister confided in me, and made me promise to not tell my boyfriend.

I just don’t know how to handle this situation, I feel like a joke to my boyfriend. I hate that this friend of his is still such a big part of his life. They have been friends for years now, and I don’t want him to think I’m trying to police who he hangs out with, but at a certain point is disrespectful to me.

How do I bring up this touchy subject with him, and try to make him understand, without him shutting down on me.

TL;DR My boyfriend chooses to remain friends with someone that I think is not a good person. My boyfriend had forgiven this person “for me” after he tried to sleep with me. It’s causing a rift in our relationship.

Submitted July 26, 2020 at 11:05AM by dickextinguisher https://ift.tt/2BCYLnq