Most of my life after high school has been me skipping from job to job, either because of my inability to perform the job, laziness, or just plain rudeness on my part. This probably all has a lot to do with a lack of a good relationship with my father. I have struggled, even in childhood, to find anything I'm passionate about. Often when I try something new I will get really excited about it and then be done with it after a week or two. This pattern has lead to severe depression, and terrible relationships in most parts of my life. I have a few friends who are close and supportive, but they are so keenly aware of how untrustworthy I am, just because I change my mind about who I am, and what I believe so often.
About a year and a half ago, I went to get my haircut at a barbershop near my house. I had recently become miserable in my latest endeavor: teaching music. I had never met the barber, and he had never met me, but he asked me a few questions, and I grudgingly answered. He stopped cutting my hair, looked me in the eye and said. "You just need to be a barber." I laughed, and he reiterated, "No, I'm serious, there's a school right down the street. You need to be a barber."
Flash foward a year and a half. I've graduated barber school, and I have a job cutting hair. I've never been more excited or passionate about anything in my life (aside from getting married). The process of getting to this point has been insanely difficult, but also extraordinarily fulfilling. I've never felt this way. It's like no matter how much life sucks, I always have comfort in knowing that I am on a road to becoming a better barber. To put it simply: this is the first time I've stuck with ANYTHING for more than 8 months, and I feel like I'm just scratching the surface!
During every step of the process of becoming a barber, this man has been like a guardian angel. He not only directed me to the school, but somehow got my tuition rate lowered by speaking with the school owner without my knowledge. He encouraged me every time I felt unsure or afraid, and let me stand next to him for hours on in at his shop and taught me everything I didn't get to learn at school. Tricks of the trade, and his special secrets that he's learned over the years. My wife (I know unbelievable that I'm married given my background right?) was ready to divorce me, and break up with me, but this man AND HIS WIFE counseled us, and helped us make it through the year of barber school. As the icing on the cake, he secured a job for me, cutting right next to him, at his brothers barbershop.
This is just a sampling of the pure graciousness this person has shown me. Every time I'm around him, I want to express to him how thankful I am, and how I want to make him proud. It's like he's the father I never had. But for some reason, I'm afraid that he will be put off if I thank him? I'm not sure what it is. I feel like I owe this man everything that I care about. If it weren't for him I'd be working in Macdonalds, single, and probably suicidal. (no hate for McDonalds workers, it's just not for me). I just want to show him that his grace has NOT been taken for granted. I want to make him proud. I know this is probably really lame for this sub, but... it's so hard for me to wrap my head around how to repay him, or thank him without coming off as weird.
He has a son of his own, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable by making him feel like *I* look at him like a father figure? I don't know if that's wrong or not. Any advice is welcome.... please!
TL;DR
My guardian angel helped (and is still helping me) get my shit together, and I'm an awkward man baby that feels like I have a new father and want to tell him I immensely appreciate him but don't know how to not seem weird about it?
Submitted July 29, 2020 at 01:01AM by cringeasauruswrecks https://ift.tt/3hGzhEM
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