I have been with my husband for almost ten years. We met in college and hit it off almost immediately. He's funny, sweet, gentle, charismatic, and so so kind to everyone he meets. I honestly don't know how I got so lucky with him. We got married not long after I graduated college. And marriage has been great, perfect really. We don't really fight or even argue. We're both supportive of each other. We've even been talking about kids soon. I plan on spending the rest of my life with this man. But I can't ignore this thing that started a couple of years ago and how much it's been bothering me.
My husband has developed an interest in cross dressing. Well, more than an interest. He really likes dressing up as a woman. I guess it wasn't really surprising when it started happening. He has a sister who came out as gay just before he went to university and his family are very open and accepting. Though he told me when he lived at home he was never really comfortable with coming out with his cross dressing habit. It wasn't until we were seriously dating for a while that he felt comfortable really being himself with it. And I am so glad that he feels comfortable enough with me to show me this side of him. And I will support him in anything. But things keep escalating and I don't know how much I can really take.
At first it was just wearing feminine underwear. It made him feel pretty. Didn't weird me out at all. I get it. Everyone should fell comfortable in their own clothes. Everyone has the right to feel pretty. Then he started buying stockings and garter belts and wearing them under his pants. Again, fine, whatever. He feels pretty. Then he starts buying pretty dresses and bras. And putting on makeup and wearing it around the house. And then in the bedroom he wants to have sex like this and wants me to call him a girl and pretty and treat him like a woman in bed and I just...
Recently, he's been talking about going to therapy for gender dysphoria. I've been encouraging him to if this is what he thinks he needs. I've been encouraging him and telling him that I will always love and support him no matter what physical body he becomes. But guys, I'm not attracted to women. At all. I've done my exploring to figure out what I like and don't like and I totally, utterly, and completely straight. I am turned off at even the idea of having sex with another woman. It's kind of crazy how in the bedroom we can be having fun and then he starts asking me if he can dress up like a woman and be a girl in bed tonight and the switch immediately flips. Evidently, I have been hiding my revulsion now because he doesn't suspect in the slightest that I am not into it at all when he does this.
I just...I love him so much. But I don't know how we can move forward with our relationship if he decides to become she. I know intimacy isn't everything, but attraction is important to me. I think it's important to a lot of relationships. For me it's what separates friendship from relationship. I've been trying so hard to reconcile this, to just push down my feelings and stay with him. Because I love him. But I don't think I can anymore.
TL;DR I love my husband. He is considering transitioning. I am not attracted to women at all. Help.
Submitted July 23, 2020 at 10:12PM by throwitallaway99998 https://ift.tt/3eUb7VF
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