My (31m) old best friend (31m) from 12 years ago haven’t talked in over 5 years. He now won’t stop trying to contact me.

Our friendship drifted apart. 8 years ago he got a new gf and started to ignore me. Won’t respond to texts, I got the picture that he wanted nothing to do with me. I still tried though I didn’t want to lose my best friend. He breaks up and starts dating someone else and we kind of repair our friendship talked it out and felt like things were going ok. I was still hurt though for what happened.

The next two years he starts saying to me about how it’s awkward when I hang out with our group of friends because I’m the only single one so if they ever say anything to me I’ve just been busy with work or not feeling well. I brush it off. Our friend one night says to me all the guys were hanging out and he refused to let anyone call you. This goes on for a couple of years. I make friends with our friends husband we start hanging out together and doing things. I finally get a gf excited that I can “join the group” I’m told it’s awkward because they are so close that it’s hard for someone new is integrated into the group. I get the picture friendship over leave me alone then.

I start to cut communication as I head off for the roughest two years of my life. I was full time commuting two hours a day to university for night class. Working three jobs and I got to see my gf on Saturday nights. That was my only night I was at home free. He wouldn’t stop texting me at this point about hanging out. I told him how busy I am but according to him it was only excuses. Eventually he sends me an essay text how I have changed and how can I be a friend like that. I shed a few tears that our friendship was over and and ghosted him.

At the end of my first year of university a friend was getting married we were all there. Instead of asking me how things are going he sits down beside me and says what’s your fucking problem. I told him everything and he said fuck that that’s all excuses you’ve changed because of that. Starts pointing his finger at my gf. I said drop it, watched my gf get up and leave in tears, I got up said goodbye to those who I cared about and we left.

After that he texted a few times, called a few times all apologetic and I ignored every single one. I tried to rekindle my friendship with my group of friends without him and the two friends that reached back when we met together it was “you need to apologize for what you did to him” I gave my story gave my reasons why I was so upset and they didn’t care. It was my fault, not his. The one person who I thought I was closest with at one point in our lives told me to stop and just accept our friendship for what it was. That it’s not worth it.

Since then I have lost everyone but my gf. I have no one else in my life but family. He has tried to contact me on countless occasions and I have ignored it. I want nothing to do with him. Recently a friend of ours who was his childhood friend passed away. He has been trying to get back into contact with me harder than ever. “I’m sorry for anything that has happened...I really want to try to start fresh.”. I deleted his contact but I didn’t block his number. He left a voicemail last night. Hearing his voice brought back the good memories but after hearing his name and deleting the message after 5 seconds pissed me off. It hurts my heart but I can’t bring myself to it. Every single time he tries to contact me my body fills with anger. The pain and suffering he put me through he has no idea. He ruined any friendship that I had with anyone else. I want nothing to do with him. I accepted that we are no longer friends I don’t want to talk to him anymore. I have moved on with my life. I didn’t want to, there was something stopping me but I have since blocked his number.

I want to send him an email and tell him to stop. I want to say I’m sorry to hear about our friend but a death will not bring us back together. I know it wasn’t fair that I ghosted him but I did what he did to me. I want to say I’m sorry but what do I have to be sorry for. He ruined my friendships he ruined my life. I am afraid that closure won’t be of any offer and it will only make the contact worse.

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

tl;dr best friend of 12 years ditched me 8 years ago, once I finally accepted it he has been trying to become friends again. I havent seen him or replied in 5 years, is it time to tell him to stop?

Edit: thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement. I’ll just keep silent as everyone has suggested and not give anyone the time of day. I always feel great until I get a message. I wallow in it for a few days and then come out a better person. Thank you again.

Submitted October 01, 2018 at 03:37AM by plantsplantsplants https://ift.tt/2Qnvmz1