I [28/F] recently made a great new friend. The problem is that he [26/M] has spent his life living under a rock (strict Jehovah's witness until a year ago), and now he just agrees with everything I say and I feel like I'm the ONLY influence on him. I feel like I'm brainwashing him all over again.

I recently met a guy at a party that I instantly hit it off with. My friend had tried to set us up, and while we immediately clicked, neither of us "felt any spark" so to say, but since that night we have become very close friends. We talk to each other every day. Well within the first few times we hung out I could tell something seemed a little off with him. He was very personable and likeable, but he just seemed very strange (I don't mean that in a bad way, I think he's awesome, he is just *very* different from anyone I've ever met.)

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Anyway, we were hanging out one night and I joined a game of HQ trivia on my phone and told him to sit by me and help me answer questions. Well if you've never played the game, it's a "live trivia" app that has 12 questions that start incredible easy and get increasingly harder. Generally, the first 3 questions are stupid easy. Well the first question was (and this is EXACT, I wrote it down in my journal that night because it was so silly to me!):

Q: Who was the 2nd President of the United States?

A1: John Cena

A2: John Adams

A3: John Stamos

......

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He picked John Stamos! I laughed bc I thought he was kidding and he said something along the lines of "I am not smart, I don't know s*** about anything." So after some probing he tells me that he grew up in an incredibly strict Jehovah's Witness household. His dad was somebody special in the cult/church, and he attended a home school program with a bunch of other JW kids taught by "some ditzy lady for the most part." He barely knows basic math. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm bragging, but just to give the whole picture, I'm an engineer who had a full-ride scholarship all the way through university. I'm certainly no genius, but I know some stuff haha.

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It turns out he seriously doesn't know anything about anything. I am NOT saying this as a cutdown, or making fun of him. I know it's not his fault, and he seemed very ashamed of it. I told him it wasn't a big deal, that I'm not Einstein either and we laughed it off.

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Well since then (4 months ago), he basically copies everything I do. He likes everything I like. He agrees with my opinions on everything, even though I encourage him to check out things on his own as well and make his own decisions. He told me he can't make decisions for himself. It's really sad!

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I have HEAVILY encouraged him to find a therapist (He knows I have one I see weekly!). His anxiety is so bad he straight up refuses. His anxiety is so bad, I'm one of his only friends and thus the ONLY influence on his life. He goes to work, he plays Animal Crossing, and he goes to sleep. Sometimes he comes to my house. That is literally ALL he does. And he is SO likeable and sociable, and if it helps, good looking! He could have tons of friends, but his social anxiety won't allow it.

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I feel like I'm brainwashing him just as bad as the JWs did. He likes all the tv shows I like. He likes all of the music I like. He now shares every political opinion I have (this is the one that makes me feel guilty). I am starting to feel more like his "teacher" than his friend, and I feel weird and guilty about it. What should I do in this situation? I want to help my friend, but honestly he needs a therapist and a teacher. I'm just not sure how to be his close friend and not brainwash him. Any insight and advice would be appreciated! Thank you!

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TL;DR: Friend basically raised in cult (or in my opinion, WAS raised in a cult), and recently left. Now he is relying on me for information about EVERYTHING! I feel more like his teacher than his friend, and I feel like I am brainwashing him as bad as the cult did.

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 02:01PM by friendispatrickstar https://ift.tt/2Oc7e13