I never thought I'd post for advice about this one thing, but I probably should've seen it coming at some point now or in the future.
To make a long story short, I was nearing the end of my high school days when I met this guy. I was your typical nerdy, not quite an outcast but not in-crowd material, quiet girl who suddenly found that the people I once called friends were never actually my friends at all. Dealing with that and the rampant abuse at home, I was pathetically desperate for attention/wanting to feel like I mattered to someone.
This is where R comes in. He was the same age as my sister, she was still alive then, and supposedly he was good friends with her so I thought I could trust him. I WAS SO FUCKING WRONG.
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He tried to pressure me into either sending him nudes/give him my virginity more times than I can count
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He revealed that he was using me to get close to my sister cause he was more or less obsessed with her. When I flipped out he called me a "stupid little girl" and that I only have myself to blame for the situation.
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Despite actually having a GIRLFRIEND of his own, that clearly didn't stop him from trying to get in my pants.
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My sister saw him as a creep as he blatantly hit on her several times despite warning him that she's already taken and I didn't initially listen to her when she told me to cease contact with him.
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He called me "clingy" and "too much to handle" but he'd get pissed if I acted formal(?) with him?? He'd even go as far as asking if I missed him (he joined the Marines). When I'd say no, he acted like an inconsolable brat.
Why I allowed that so-called friendship to continue for at least a year(?), I don't know. I wanted to matter to someone, I wanted to be useful....just so many shitty excuses that even after all these years I still feel gross for playing his mind games.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when he demanded I send him nudes of MY OWN SISTER and I realized then I had to stop talking to him for good. After ghosting him for one week, I told my sister (almost) everything and how she had a right to tell me off but she ended up blaming herself for the whole situation.
The result? We started to treat each other better as sisters and we never heard from R again, thank God.
Well, its been 3 years now since my sister passed and while therapy has helped, I can't find the strength to put myself out there socially until I get my mental health in check. My narcissistic father constantly shits on my lack of trying for not having any friends or even a boyfriend. I will admit I'm terrified that I'll deal with someone else like R again.
Well, today at my internship I check my student email and what shows up in my inbox? An email from R asking/looking for me. How in the flying hell he found my student email is beyond my comprehension but I immediately deleted it. My Discord group is being very supportive but I had a small panic attack.
This is supposed to be a good week for me (applying for graduation, new job with the city = no more dead-end retail) but this happens. To anyone who's dealt with this nightmare, what did you do? Even if he has changed for the better, which I seriously doubt, I CANNOT allow myself to get sucked back into his crap. I just can't. It'd be a huge shitstain on the progress I've made and in my sister's memory.
EDIT: To also add, his ex-gf hasn't touched her FB from 2014 at the latest, so I can only hope she broke up with his cheating, scumbag self. What happened to her or where she is now....I have no clue.
tl;dr: So-called friend from my past took advantage of me when I was in high school so I ghosted him. After all this time, he's apparently found me and I'm actually scared.
Submitted October 30, 2018 at 02:26PM by Cakeitis https://ift.tt/2qlgVRh
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