Two months ago I posted about my bf of 4 years, and his recent "confession" that he didn't believe in marriage: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/90urgz/should_i_28_f_break_up_with_my_boyfriend_31_m_for/
So, the night after posting my original post, and after reading all of your comments, I confronted my bf about the marriage/kids discussion. In short, he said that his plan is that he wants to finish school and find a good job before even considering getting married or having kids. I said that I understand, but that if that is the case, then I want out of the relationship, ASAP. He said I was being too rash, and asked for some time to think about what he wants. I agreed to give him three months to think about what his future looks like, at which point we would have to have another discussion and see if we have the same ideas for our futures.
Well, it's been two and a half months since that discussion, and it's been pure hell (no surprise there!). Right after the discussion, he was being "boyfriend of the year"... super affectionate, helpful, and we even went to look at engagement rings(!!!). It's clear to me now that it was all a manipulation tactic to get me to stay. After two weeks, the show stopped, and the "jokes" about how we are never going to get married began. He must have known how cruel he was being.
Last night, we went to my friend's engagement party. The first thing my bf said to my friend's bf was "You finally caved?", to which my friend's bf replied "What are you talking about? I WANT to get married."
The three month deadline is technically not over, but today I broke up with him. It's clear that he was never considering marriage, and just wanted to extend the sweet deal he currently has. I reminded him that he offered to buy me out of the house, but he now states that he does not have the money... so it looks like I will be lawyering up. I feel stupid that I allowed him to use and manipulate me an extra two months, but I am thankful that I will no longer have to deal with the constant anxiety associated with the uncertainty.
Thank you everyone for your advice and support. I'm excited to find myself again (and then maybe eventually find someone else).
TLDR: If you feel like you have to convince someone to marry you, it probably isn't right. I found out the hard way.
Submitted October 01, 2018 at 07:06AM by throwawayrlg https://ift.tt/2Re9V4K
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