edit/update
Like someone said in a comment.. I didnt come here to be convinced to leave him, I came here to get validation. I needed reassurance that getting back together with him wasn't the worst thing in the world and things would get better but nope! Everyone is basically saying the same thing, leave him. I wasn't set on that so I texted him and said "let's talk tonight after you get off work" he said "I need to have a moment where my heart isnt full of pain, tomorrow i would like to talk, i need to wrap my head around what is wrong with me and take care of my shit" and that was it for me. I offered a chance after he did all this to me and he said no.
A lot of the comments here made me cry. What everyone said should have changed my mind but in the end it was his lack of willingness. He may need time to figure his shit out and that's fine but I wont be there.
I'm sorry guys. A lot of people privately messaged me expressing concern and I want to say thank you so much. I'm not going back.
okay so
Sorry about my grammar! Long post ahead.
On Saturday night I came home to a very drunk boyfriend. He was angry I didnt text him where I was after work, instead I told his friend to let him know I was up the street at a mutual friends house. I saw how drunk he was so I tried to defuse the situation but I failed. Anytime I tried to talk he would just get angry and eventually he accused me of cheating. He kept saying because I didnt text him where I was that I was trying to be sneaky. For the record I know I should have told him but our roommate was leaving to go to the same party as him and I just said "hey let boyfriend know I'm up the street at friends house"
I'm going to try to make the next big chunk easy to read. Here we go.
He kept accusing of me of cheating, wouldn't listen to anything I had to say and if I spoke he would shout at me to stop interrupting.
I went to the bed to talk to him, I put my hand on his arm and he said "don't touch me" I tried to move his face twords mine so he would look at me then he said "STOP HITTING ME, WHY ARE YOU HITITNG ME" I jumped away and stared at him while he began to cower with his arm shielding his face while repeating "please don't do it again"
I was angry at the accusations of cheating before this but now I felt disgust for such a blatant lie. (For the record I only had one light beer the whole night.) I go upstairs to tell roommate what happened and that I'm going to my parents for the night, she said that's best see you later. As I go back downstairs boyfriend is walking up to talk to roommate in her room. I get to our room to get some of my stuff and both doors are locked! I yell at boyfriend what the fuck but he says he didnt do that. I know he did though. I was the last one to use the door to outside and I did not lock it!
I go outside, take the screen off the window and hop through and start collecting my stuff, all of it. Eventually he comes back downstairs and I see that he is closing one eye and his cheek bone is pink.. I start putting stuff in my car and he keeps trying to talk to me, asking me to sit down and talk. So I said "Absolutely we can but answer me one question, did I hit you?" He wouldn't answer, kept being vague and demanding we talk about this but wouldn't answer my question. I had the last of my stuff and I asked him "are you squinting because you believe I hit you? " he said "what do you think? If you leave that's you admitting that you hit me" he also said "well you've told people about what happened now, I saw you texting so I guess I'll tell my side"
I left, told him not to contact me and called an aunt of mine who works in mental health. I told her everything and she said it sounds like he has extremely narcissistic tendencies and alot more stuff I understand but dont know how to convey. We both agreed that whatever happened was crazy and his intoxication doesn't matter because "plenty of people drink in excess and don't pretend their partners hit them"
I get to my parents house with my car filled with shit, its 1 am now and boyfriend calls me over and over. I dont answer but then he has his mom text me asking to please talk to him so I answer his calls and tell him not to involve his mom. He starts to apologize and says he so sorry. I ask him again, did I hit you? He says "no you didnt" I asked why he pretended I did and he says "I dont know" then we talk some more. I'm hurt, pissed, feeling betrayed so I'm not being nice and he says "I lied I do actually believe you hit me I just said you didnt because you're manipulative, abusive and aggressive and I was scared of you" this went on all night with his saying no you didnt hit me, yes you did, back and forth. I told him its over and I dont want to be with him.
The next day he calls, asks what happened because he only remembers bits and doesn't remember anything about him pretending I hit him. I tell him everything and he says he trusts me but doesn't know 100% that I didnt hit him because he has a bruise on his eye. He begs for me backs, says we can go to therapy, anything I need he just doesn't want to lose me.
I have no idea what to do. At one point I'm disgusted with this crazy behavior and I feel so betrayed that even in a sober state he doesn't 100% trust that I didnt hit him. At another point I love him and I dont want to end this relationship. We've been doing so great and he has my heart fully. Its been a day and I miss him so much. A a large part of me is ready to say fuck it, forgive and forget.
I KNOW I did not hit him. I know that but the way he talks to me makes me question. I have doubt even though I know I didn't!
So now I've got a car full of shit, I haven't told anyone in my family but my aunt, my boyfriend is batshit crazy, I got to work tomorrow and my heart is broken. What do I do? Can I forgive him?
TL;DR My boyfriend was drunk, pretend I hit him, I broke up with him, hes sorry now, dont know what to do.
Submitted October 29, 2018 at 11:00AM by safe-harbor https://ift.tt/2Q0KHWF
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