30f with boyfriend (31) of 3 months. He cancelled our first trip together over a bad mood(?). Do I even try to work things out?

This is a long post. TLDR at bottom.

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Boyfriend and I met and started dating about 3 months ago. We hit it off and decided to see each other exclusively after our first date and made the relationship official after about a month. He's everything I want in a partner and I have never been happier in a relationship. He has a very positive outlook of people and life in general and is one of the kindest people I've ever met. I've found myself trying to emulate him and be more like him in that regard because I tend to have a negative view of the world.

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Everything had been great up until 2 days ago. One of his childhood friends got married over the weekend and we planned on going to the (out of town) wedding and making a vacation out of it... Our first vacation together. The plan was to go to the wedding, then go camping for 3 days. We packed and loaded everything we would need for the trip up in his truck and he went up on Friday for the bachelor party, rehearsal, etc... I caught the bus up the morning of the wedding so we could drive back together instead of taking 2 cars on a 5 hour one way road trip.

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He has always been great about making plans. In fact I told him when we first started dating that that was something that I loved about him. We've done a few day trips and would take turns planning. When it was his turn I never had to worry about anything, so I assumed that this trip would be the same. The day before I left I asked where we were going to stay the night of the wedding and he said he wasn't sure, that we may end up sharing a room with the bride and groom (WHAT???). I didn't think he was serious and said there's no way that's happening. He said the bride and groom are cool with it and don't mind, but he'll get it worked out.

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So I hop on the bus and head up, we go to the wedding and have fun but I'm kind of stressed the whole time because I don't know where we're staying that night. About 2 hours before the reception is over, boyfriend talks to the groom then comes and tells me that we may have to sleep on the floor in the bride and groom's room because bride and groom are (obviously) taking the only bed in the room and another groomsman and his wife have claimed the pull out couch. I tell him that there is no way in hell that I'm sleeping on a hotel room floor; we can get our own room. He doesn't want to spend that much money (and neither do I - they were staying at a very nice but very expensive hotel) so I say we can go to a cheaper hotel and I'll pay for the room. He turns down my offer and says no, we'll just sleep on the floor for the night and that "it's not that big of a deal because we're going to sleep in the woods tomorrow."

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Well that reminded me that we have a blow up mattress in his truck. Problem solved, right? I tell him, "oh that's right, we can bring up the air mattress and sleep on it." He vetoes that idea as well and insists that we can just sleep on the floor for the night or that we can find a spare bed or couch in someone else's room to sleep in. At this point the reception is almost over so we put the conversation on hold since we weren't getting anywhere. We eventually head back to the hotel and hang out in the groom's room with one of the groomsmen (the one who was going to sleep on the couch) while waiting for the groom to show up.

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After 30 minutes of waiting, boyfriend calls the groom who says he's at the hotel but in a different room and is on his way to his/our room. 15 more minutes go by and I tell boyfriend "I'm really tired, please figure something out so we can go to sleep." He doesn't do anything and another 15 minutes go by. At this point it's midnight and I'm exhausted from not getting any sleep the night before because my bus left at 2am. I ask boyfriend for the keys to his truck and tell him I'm going to sleep there. He follows me to the truck and says he's not going to let me sleep there "because I'll be pissed off when I wake up in the morning" if he does.

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He asks me to look up directions to a cheaper hotel and I gave him 2 options. He picked one, drove to it, and we crashed as soon as we got to the room. When we left the next morning he got on the highway heading back towards our city instead of to the campsite. I immediately mentioned it and he said "we're not going camping, I'm going home." I asked if he wanted to talk about last night and he said 'no'.

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I tried to start a conversation a few times during the 5+ hour drive back home, including trying to change his mind about cancelling our camping trip. He refused to carry on a conversation and said some pretty hurtful things. For example I said "Are you sure you don't want to even try to salvage this trip? I think working together to set up a camp site would alleviate a lot of the tension between us." and his response was "No. I don't want to spend the next 3 days with you. I'm dropping you off at your house then I'm going home." Another time I asked "So you're really just going to cancel this trip that we've spent all this time planning and preparing for just because you're in a bad mood?" "Pretty much."

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Just like he said, he took me to my house and we unloaded my stuff out of his truck. I was inside my house when I heard his truck start. I went outside just in time to see him driving off. I couldn't believe that he just left without saying a single word to me. I immediately texted him and said "I know you're upset but that was really rude." He responded 8 hours later and said "I'm sorry I left so abruptly but I wasn't in the mood to talk." I responded the next day and told him to let me know when he's ready to talk and he said "I will." I haven't heard from him other than that.

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I am so hurt, angry, and confused by everything that happened over the past 2 days. Even now looking back I can't think of any red flags or warning signs that he could have done something like this. I think if anyone has the right to be angry, it should be me. I've tried to see things from his perspective (I had plenty of time during the 5 hour drive back to my house) but I just cannot for the life of me figure out what he's upset about and why he decided to cancel our trip.

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His behavior is obviously not acceptable. He needs to communicate with me and not run away from his problems. I don't even know what to do at this point. I've honestly felt like I've been single since the moment he drove away without even telling me that he was leaving. At the same time, I still want to talk to him and try to understand what's going through his mind. His behavior this weekend was just so out of character. I'm torn between wanting to just move on and assume that we're broken up, wanting to talk to him to get closure, and wanting to talk to him to see if we should try to work things out.

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TLDR: I went on a trip with boyfriend to his friend's wedding, somehow ended up in the twilight zone. He wanted to sleep on floor of bride and groom's hotel room on their wedding night. I refused, paid for us to get our own room. Boyfriend got upset, cancelled the rest of our trip and won't talk to me.

Submitted October 30, 2018 at 09:59PM by throwaway2485u5 https://ift.tt/2JyiFj3