My [23f] boyfriend's [26m] mom says he has to come to her Christmas parties every year even when he's married

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and it's been wonderful. Last year, I went to his family's Thanksgiving with him since we don't get to see them as much (they live 2 hours away while my own family is near us). I was also going to go to his family's Christmas Eve, but he ended up going alone since I felt obligated to spend it with my own family due to a health crisis with one of my family members.

This year's Christmas, I definitely want to spend with my family since it will be the first one my mom has without her mother (my grandma passed away recently). So, since my boyfriend's mom has two parties, one on Christmas Eve and one on the Day, and mine only has one party on the Eve, I asked him if he would spend Christmas Eve with my family and we could go to his for Christmas Day. He said his mom wouldn't let him, she'd told him even when he gets married he needs to come to her Christmas parties.

What the hell? Am I crazy? He's told me before that he wants to marry me and have kids. This response made me cry a bit (I know, I'm over emotional sometimes) and I asked him if this means we're never going to spend a Christmas together with my family, and I said you're my boyfriend not your mom's (I apologized later, I overreacted). This led to him shutting down but eventually agreeing to go to both parties. I just don't want him to only be agreeing because I was hurt and he wanted it over with. I also don't want to start a fight with his mom.

Tl;dr I asked my boyfriend to split up Christmas parties so we could see both of our families this year. He said his mom would be angry if he didn't go to both of her Christmas parties. Am I wrong to think this is a problem?

Submitted October 29, 2018 at 01:15PM by adviceplease173 https://ift.tt/2OdfLkr