I will try to make this short, but I really am in need of some support and advice. My son is 30 years old and has pushed himself so hard, but it is as if a dark shadow is cast on him and I don't know how to help him.
He was an excellent student in high school and always got great grades, but he never really liked school all that much. He wasn't really thrilled on the idea of going to college, but we told him a college degree was important to get a good job and he agreed. To save money, he commuted from home to a school almost an hour from us. He busted his butt and was always getting great grades and on the dean's list and everything. He also worked during this time and for a few semesters he would take a morning class, drive to work, then go back to school for a night class...during some semesters he drove as much as 3-4 hours a day just to get to his classes and work.
He was always the quiet type and not all that social, so between that and how much commuting he did, he never really was the typical 'college student' that went out drinking or to parties or had friends at school or anything. Well he graduated in the late 2000's during the recession and was unable to find any job at all. He applied to tons of jobs in 3 states, but never landed a career. After about 2 years of seeing him frustrated, I suggested maybe he should look at going back for a Master's degree and he ended up doing that. He again commuted to the same college for 2 more years, again doing excellent in school despite all of the commuting and working at the same and graduated. Despite that, he was still un able to find a job. He has tried so hard, going to job fairs, having his resume reviewed by professionals, talking with job coaches, even making his own business cards to hand out to employers...yet, nothing. Years have gone by and to this day he still works the exact same minimum wage job he had in high school.
To make matters worse, he has also had zero luck with women either. He has never really dated at all in his entire life. A few years ago I suggested he try online dating...and he joined two popular dating websites. He wrote a great profile and has up nice photos and everything. He sends nice messages...not like 'hi sexy', but actual thought out messages, he sees what they are interested in and asks about that, etc. Yet, nothing. Not even one single date and he sent out messages to over 1,000 girls in the last few years....along with quite a few rejections in person as well. He is such a sweet guy, he told me how much he would love to have a girl to bring flowers to just to see her smile, how much he would love to have a girl to go on a date with, to have fun with and to make happy. Any girl would be so lucky to have him...yet nothing. And when he sees like abusive guys getting girlfriends and stuff, it just crushes him that they get girls and he doesn't.
I seriously don't know how to help him. I'm heartbroken to see him suffering like this. He deserves so much more and tried so hard. He used to pretty happy and excited...he would tell me about the modest, but nice house he wanted to buy. How he wanted to get married and have a family. Etc. But now in his 30s he feels those dreams are all but gone. He's become increasingly depressed, to the point that he mostly just mopes around when he's home. A few months ago on his 30th birthday he was so depressed he didn't get out of bed for most of the day....it took me a lot of coaxing just to get him to get up for birthday cake. And of course he has no health insurance, so seeing a professional for medicine or therapy is pretty much out of the question. I feel so hopeless and helpless. I know if someone would just give him a career or if a girl would give him a chance he would prove himself so quickly and it would give him a sense of hope and happiness. He's very smart and loveable, but he just keeps striking out.
Any advice or suggestions on what I can do?
TL;DR: Son busted his butt in school. Did great, but couldn't land a job during the recession. Went back to graduate school, but years later still can't get a job. Has no luck with women and he has never really dated. It's like a black shadow is over him that he can't escape from and he's becoming increasingly depressed. What can I do to help him?
Submitted October 29, 2018 at 06:39PM by notsurewhy2345 https://ift.tt/2Rluk7e
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