So, I am an Italian guy who was born and raised in a little town in Italy and always had stable long-term relationships. I have never agreed about having one night stands or being friends with benefit with someone simply because I do not like the idea. I believe it is because of the way I was raised / society / friends. I am a quiet person, I do not like parties and prefer a walk in the nature, etc
A couple of years ago I met my current GF. She is from Brazil and she was single for about 7 years. Never had a romantic / serious relationship and her ex boyfriend was just a person to have fun with (they were consensually cheating on each other, parties all the time, he had problems with drugs, etc)
When she met me she wanted to settle down so we agreed about having a serious relationship and a future together. And then started the culture shock (I did not know about it, just came out slowly with time)
Just to mention some of the things she did while she was with me (timeframe: 1 year):
- One of her best friends, coming from another country, stayed in her house and slept in the same bed with her (there were other rooms free). Her explanation to me was: he is gay, so do not worry! We do this all the time in Brazil
- One of her flatmates (gay) used to touch her ass very often, just for fun. Her explanation to me was: it is just a joke, do not worry. We do this all the time in Brazil
- We went to a party with some friends and while drunk, she kissed a friend of her (gay) on the lips. Her explanation to me was: it is just a joke, do not worry. We do this all the time in Brazil and he is gay so it does not matter
- We went to visit one of her friends (not gay) in another country, nice guy. After a dinner together we said goodbye and he touched her ass. Her explanation to me was.... well, same as above.
- I met her in a pub while she was with some of her friends. She was drunk and started dancing and touching in a very intimate way a random guy there. Her explanation to me was: I did not do anything bad so it is not a big deal
- We went to a night club with some friends and she was drunk as usual. She left the group and stopped a random guy in the club and started talking very closely with him. She does not remember that.
I can mention some other things but... nothing much different than that.
Now, she said there was no bad intention and she said she's sorry because it is just the way it works in Brazil. I told her please do not do it because it hurts me (and she saw how much it hurts me)... and she said ok I won't... But a few nights ago she was drunk and... the same happened but this time her explanation was: NO IMPOSSIBLE! You did not see that. You are paranoid. (I do not drink alcohol at all... so I know what I saw)
She is a good partner, a good friend, and we really enjoy together, but this culture differences are hurting my feelings very much. I started having nightmares at night, cannot focus on my job as before, stopped eating well, etc
I know she will suffer a lot if I leave her, but I do not feel to continue this relationship as I am losing my health and my well-being.
I tried very hard but I cannot understand (and therefore accept) those things.
Any thoughts? I am suffering so I cannot think clearly, so any advice will be very appreciated.
Thanks.
**TL;DR; : I am experiencing a culture shock with my girlfriend from Brazil.
Submitted October 29, 2018 at 06:00AM by MeanItem https://ift.tt/2qinunE
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