Let's preface that this is a throwaway, and that I am still hurting at this moment.
I've been with with my husband, let's call him Alex -- for 10 years. Known him for quite some time in my life, recently just got married. He's made me quite happy and has been wonderful to me regardless of all this. Its just I , don't know how to react to all this at this time.
The other day, I found him masturbating to a picture of a friend of mine- (female, 25) he had no way of obtaining such a photo and I probably should had deleted it off my phone!! She was in underwear, checking herself out and wanted my opinion on it! I was really upset to find my husband Wanking off to her and noticing that photo right there on his computer. His logic was because the girl has romantic feelings towards me, he was getting off to the idea that we would do something to each other and wanted me to punish him.
Awfully enough, i tried to settle things and had him delete all photos and let it pass. I tried to be understanding that pics are considered fantasy to some people and it doesn't mean they want to have sex or anything. But like, invading my privacy on my phone is a no no. Not that I had much to hide from him to begin with. I...trusted him that much.
Whereas, he had more to tell from what he had hid from me.
Last night while we were having sex , he was telling me he had video reccordings of friends I've spent time with of them taking a shower and whatnot when we went to hotels.
And?? Of course, what any sane person would do is stop having sex that moment and go what? Are you kidding? Please tell me you're pulling my leg.
He wasn't. In fact, he was more remorseful over the fact he told me this- because he knew this wouldn't benefit either of us. I mean yeah, I'm fucking hurt and I feel awful for my friends!! Even if I barely knew some of those people!! They felt safe around us and I just feel like its my fault to had put them in harms way! What the hell!!! I'm so upset and unsure what to do!! He told me he never has urges to do this again and he's been having these fantasies of this kind of stuff since a young age. That he had been afraid of women and girls and never knew how to approach them and how this helped him see that they aren't as frightening as he thought they were. That they are human like any other person. But he didn't need to go about things this way, I feel- like isn't there porn of these kinds of things? Aren't there some people who can consent to begin with? It was hard to get him to say that what he did was fucked up. That using people as a tool to justify your means is just as bad as a pedophile taking photos of children to wank off to later.
Is this some sort of addiction?? What can I do?? I know that he loves me a lot And I believe him when he says I mean the world but gosh?! Is it wierd of me to feel inadequate? Is it bad of me to feel upset by this? What should I do?
Tdlr; my husband told me he has videos of friends he had taken in secret of them taking showers and stuff, claiming it helped him get over his sexual urges and fears of women.
Submitted October 29, 2018 at 03:39PM by Importedpanda https://ift.tt/2P1eAK7
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