My boyfriend of two years is 5’10 and is currently around 200 pounds (I don’t actually know his exact weight because he refuses to weigh himself anymore). He used to be much larger before we met, he was around 265. He got down to his lowest weight of 175, and that’s when he met me.
I have never been with someone who hates their own body so much. He never liked his body, even when he was at his lowest weight. He has always thought he was “too big for me”, and even more so now that he’s gained some weight back. He says daily that “he’s fat” and “doesn’t know how I can be attracted to him”. For reference, I am 5’8 and 121 pounds. I think this might make him feel worse because I’m thin and in good shape.
Here’s the thing though, I have always preferred bigger guys. I like that he has bit of extra padding. I like his doughy belly, love handles, thick thighs, and stretch marks. I love the parts of his body that he detests, his soft body turns me on so much.
I guess one of the problems is that I don’t know how to tell him that I like bigger guys. Of course I tell him that I find him attractive and that I love his body, but I never outright say I like that he’s chunky. The truth is, I don’t even know if telling him would help (or hurt) his confidence levels. Another thing that I hate to admit is that I’m a bit embarrassed to admit my preference. I’ve never told anyone (besides internet strangers).
The other issue is that our sex life has been on the decline ever since he’s gained some weight (about a year ago). He doesn’t like how he looks, so he assumes I don’t either (despite me telling him I love sex with him, no matter his body size). One of my turn ons is watching him have sex with me in a mirror, he now refuses this because he doesn’t want to see himself. The same thing goes for making home videos, which I know is a turn on for him. He never likes to be on top either, which is something we both used to enjoy. I also feel like I can’t touch or grab the parts of him that turn me on, because he immediately clams up.
I would never stop him from losing weight, I tried to encourage it for a while because I want him to be happy. He’s had trouble sticking to a diet, even if I do it with him. He doesn’t enjoy the same kind of exercise I do. We used to love hiking and outside activities, but he won’t go anymore because he feels fat when he gets out of breath and I’m fine. I stopped encouraging the weight loss because I think it was making him feel even worse.
I know learning to love yourself is something that comes from within. I just want him to see himself how I see him, which is incredibly sexy. Any advice here would be appreciated. Thank you!
TL;DR I love my boyfriend’s body, he hates it. It’s affecting our hobbies and sex life. I don’t know whether to tell him I like bigger guys, or how to help him in general.
Submitted October 29, 2018 at 08:44AM by bedqueen17 https://ift.tt/2zbiYvb
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