My (33m) wife (31f) just seems so irritatable, snappy and mean sometimes that it makes me fearful of her. Her biggest complaint about me is that I seem too introverted. No one but her thinks I'm introvert because I shut up around her to avoid fights.

We've been together since late college and yes she's pretty much always been this way. What changed though is that before we were married she would be this way mainly to her parents or siblings, rarely me. Now that we're living together, I get the full brunt of it.

Basically, everything has to be perfect and her way otherwise she will rage with anger. Btw she says she keeps in her rage so much and it's hard for her but honestly, I get yelled at maybe 5-10 times a day. So to me this is hardly under control.

Example today, she knew I was on a tight schedule but kept going on and on about some class assignment for 45mins. I never complained I actually had a very engaging conversation with her about it.

When I got home, I wanted to show her a new coffee I got that I was excited about. She was on her laptop and looked up at me and "yes ok, what do you want me to say?" In very mean way.

Im very used to this so I said check it out later I'm gonna make dinner.

About 20 mins later I came back to her and started rubbing her shoulders and asked her how's her assignment coming along. Her reply, "what the fuck you think I'm doing? I'm not finished yet so just leave me alone".

Now someone can be as stressed as hell (btw she has absolutely no reason to be stressed about it, it's due in 4 week from now and she JUST started today) but that gives her no excuse to be so mean.

So I replied, "ok sorry for disturbing you, I'll go back and finish dinner". Now she has to audacity to say "Why the fuck are you giving me attitude now?". I'm like, you were mean first and I'm just stepping away to avoid a fight.

This is my life literally everyday. I hate hate hate not being able to show her random things, start conversations freely and be open.

And yet, those things are her biggest complaints about me!!! Wtf right.

I've told her this so many times! I've told her I want to be more open with her but I'm not because 50% (honestly more) of the time your mind is elsewhere and nothing I says even registers with you.

Living with her is so hard too. If I don't close a door, leave a certain light on or watch TV too loud or at certain times I get scolded and verbally abused.

Not to mention she leaves every where a total mess. She contributes zero financially and everything that is her responsibility lapses and never gets done and if i

She said if I was confident and more used to her communication style I'd be fine with this. I have tried adaptung so many times, nothing works.

Right now, aside from that she's a good wife and faithful loyal person.

But I seriously don't know if I can live like this. You will not believe how many times I'd be happy, positive and in the best of moods. All to have it taken away by her.

Is this emotional abuse?

Tldr;

Wife is super irritable around me and ignores me half the time. I can't ever freely express myself or be comfortable in my home, a place where I pay all the bills and rent. Because every little thing irritates her. It is impossible to have a day go by and not be insulted about something. I have never ever in all our time together been unjustifiably mean toward her. Naturally in this environment i just keep to myself to avoid a fight. She hates that as apparently I'm too introverted and not confident to express myself.

Submitted October 29, 2018 at 10:23AM by Scaredofher33 https://ift.tt/2zfgUCk