Should I [29f] be concerned about my boyfriend [31m] and his want to see how far he can push things? How do I make him see his value?

Throwaway for the obvious reason. Sorry it’s long, I just need guidance.

I met my b/f a few months ago and things started pretty quickly. I didn’t really want anything but after getting to know him realized he was worth the chance. We’ve been dating for almost 3 months at this point.

My B/f is kind, caring, and able to remain logical when I can’t. He grounds me when I need it. I’m thankful for him in my life. With his constant want to grow and better himself, he’s pushed me to as well. He loves self help book and improving himself but he looks to me to help him implement it.

Something uncharacteristic happened A few nights ago we were hanging out driving around. He reached over and grabbed my cheek and pinched. Then kept pinching harder and hard as I was screaming in pain. I had to ultimately pull his hand off my face. When I asked what that was for or why he did it the answer I got was ‘idk I’m weird.’ Later on after some minutes of silence, he says ‘ you know I meant it. I meant to hurt you’ . This lines been replaying over in my head and it’s left me wondering why someone who want to hurt something that supposedly care about. He later explained its a defense mechanism since he doesn’t think he deserves me but I responded to that with you should cherish what you have and not ruin it.

Just the fact that he hurt me on purpose and made it a point to tell me he meant it has been really really bothering me. There was no sorry, no I didn’t mean to or no ‘I love you’ or attempt to make it better. I care for this guy a lot but how do I help him overcome his insecurities and show him he can have good things too if he doesn’t destroy them all?

TLDR; boyfriend hurt me then said he meant it because he ‘doesn’t deserve’ me. How do I make him see he deserves good and make sure he doesn’t destroy what he has?

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 11:10AM by 1337032289 https://ift.tt/2P45AE0