I was over at my moms tonight.. having fun laughing, making my sons homemade costume and just being silly with my mom. We sat down to dinner and everyone was finished. My ex husband called me and asked "did you read my text?" I said
"No sorry we were eatting and just finished". He said...(long story short) "your friend was on the news today, the one you went to beauty school with. She is doing stuff for really nice things for the special ed class she teaches and she was on TV!" I got to excited... clicked on the link and watched one of my bestfriends from my past that I have not seen in ages.. and me not being alloud on social media, for her to be recognized for something so special and so dear to her, I was happy.
I return to the table to tell my mom.. I sit down my eyes lit up and I started to talk about what she had done and the kids that she helped and I told a few little things about what we talked about in beauty school and as I was (lightly) explaining and wiggling around in my chair, my step dad stopped me and says "time out... do yiu hear yourself? Do you ever listen to yourself talking? Do you ever watch yourself?.... You get so theatrical and talk to quickly and get over excited about something
That does'nt even concern you.. You get too excited about other peoples lifes that has nothing to do with you. You have two little ones you should be worried about them.."
Mind you I devote 110% of my time to my kids and making memeories and straght A's not too toot my own horn.
My response was " im sorry that is my personality and I get excited. I dont have any friends to talk to and when I can talk to people I get excited"....
I was in a sheltered home cor half of my life and in a few toxic was not alloud to have friends OR social media anymore etc...
I left the room in fear that I was going to cry .. my whole life I was never excepted. My personallity.. my passions. My art. It was all thrown away. Trash went all of my things.. i wasnt excepted when I was 8... why be excepted now.
I just wanted to get that out.. as I am typing my eyes have filled with tears. I dont have thick skin since I was bullied alot in school and at home and was exspossed to things as a preteen that I shouldn't have been.. i just feel like im 12 again in my room hurting from the same "stepdad" that hurt my feelings contsantly 20 years ago.. and still does it today.
TL;DR: Just a quick story that I need to get out... it hurt me. It hurt my heart and I felt like I was 12 again crying silently with a broken heart.
Submitted October 30, 2018 at 07:49PM by witchywitch13 https://ift.tt/2DdPX6p
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