Over the past several months, I've grown very close to a guy I met through work. He and I have fantastic chemistry, which our friends comment on A LOT. We never run out of things to say to one another. He's cute, sincere, funny, etc etc. But as we've been getting closer to what I thought was the inevitable conclusion of us being more than friends, he's seemed a little hesitant. It seems like he wants to keep the relationship progressing, but for some reason he catches himself and holds back. Not in a "wait, I'm about to make a terrible mistake" kind of way, more of a conscious hesitation.
Not too long ago, I found out that he is transgender (I ran across some old family pictures online that still have his old name attached to them). He has not opened up to me about his gender identity, and I won't bring it up unless he decides to. Him being trans doesn't change my feelings toward him at all--who he is as a person is the only thing I care about. I'm just wondering if maybe that's what's holding him back in terms of our relationship moving forward. I'm wondering if he's afraid that I might react badly if he opened up to me about it, or if he's had bad experiences in the past that are making him hesitate now. I don't even know if any of that's the root of his hesitation, but I think it could be a possibility.
For right now, I'm not going to move too quickly. When, or if, the time is right for him, then it will be right for me too. He's probably had to put up with some weird stuff just as a result of being trans, and I don't want to add something like this to that pile and make him uncomfortable. Opening up to my friends about this is something I won't do, because I'm not willing to out him to people he might not want knowing.
Is there anyone else who has had a similar experience, from either side of the relationship? I imagine the dating scene is probably already a difficult thing for him. I want to tell him that I will accept him for who he is, but I don't know how without letting slip that I know something about him which he might not be comfortable with me knowing.
tl;dr: I want to move forward with a romantic relationship with a trans man, but he doesn't know I know he's trans, and I'm wondering if he isn't comfortable with dating.
Submitted October 26, 2018 at 08:44PM by ThrowawayUser6543 https://ift.tt/2SngmDh
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