First time poster, long time lurker. I apologize if important details are left out.
I (F27) injured my back in the spring from deadlifts (2 herniated disks affecting my sciatic nerve; I was finishing my masters online at this time) and reinjured it in September (now working a full time job). To say the least, it has been a painful 4 months. I took time off work for a few weeks because of the injury but went back as soon as I could. Laying in bed all day was not fun. During my time off, my mom (54) was also, well, unbearable. I have difficulty doing day to day chores because of my back, so anything that requires bending, lifting, sitting or standing for a moderate amount of time, really really hurts. I like to leave some things for a day where the pain isn’t too bad. While off, I was asked why my laundry wasn’t put away yet (clean and in my room, out of the way), if I’d helped my dad(55) with dinner etc. Mind you this would be the first words out of her mouth when seeing me. During my time off after a Physio appointment, I explained to her why the doctor told me it hurts to sit more compared to stand and I was asked by her “ Well, can’t you just stand at work then?”.
I was healing and started feeling great again until I tweaked my back again picking something up off the ground. This was on my way to work, I didn’t last an hour before my manager told me to go home. Well, I didn’t. My bestfriend’s daughter (M) was home “sick” (lol) that day so I went there instead. M helped me walk up stairs, get changed and did little things like bring me water and snacks. Later in the evening, I finally mustered the energy to try to make it home, despite my best friend’s attempts to get me to stay over. I had to call my dad to help me out of the car once I was home because I couldn’t get out by myself . I was asked by my mom, you worked like this? why didn’t you come home? When I told them what happened and that I didn’t come home because I felt like a burden and M had been helping me, my mom just stopped talking to me and walked away. Mind you I am crying my eyes out because of the pain. I proceeded to spend the next 3 days in bed, struggling to even get up and pee. My mom didn’t talk to me the entire time. My dad would come to check on me 1-2 a day.
When I returned to work again, I had to borrow my grandma’s cane because I still needed alot of support walking and standing. Everyone was asking me why I went to work like that, including my physiotherapist when I told him. The doctor had a heart to heart with me and pretty much told me to get smart about my healing and expectations. He told me for a minimum of a week, I needed to be off. So I called my manager and my work partner and updated them. Received so much support from them, even telling me to come back in the new year.
I haven’t even told my parents I’ve been put off again because I am scared of what they will say and how they will treat me. I was limping earlier when my mom asked me why I was. When I told her my legs were throbbing she asked me why again. I told her it was my back and she rolled her eyes at me so yeah. I don’t know. I feel so defeated. I have been in the most pain of my life and I feel like my parents don’t even care. They haven’t asked me how my back was doing since the fall. When I talk to my grandmother, family friend and best friend about it, they all have no idea what is going on with them. I’m making preparations to move out asap because of this.
Should I approach my time off with them? And how? Is there something I am not seeing here which explains their behaviour? Any advice for how to navigate any of this would be so appreciated.
TL;DR: My parents are unsupportive of my back injury and I don’t know why
Submitted December 12, 2021 at 05:44PM by jaydmocha https://ift.tt/3GEvch3
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