My[15] older brother[28] is getting on my nerves. His hands are down his pants all the time and he's VERY unhygienic. I don't know what to do.

I know that this might come across as a weird post, but it's gotten beyond the point where I can accept it. My brother[28] constantly has his hands down the front of his pants when we're at home. He doesn't care if there are other people in the room, the hands are just inside and we can just see the outline of his fingers moving and his breathing change sometimes. Everyone in our household has told him that it's disgusting and that we don't feel comfortable with him doing that, but he doesn't stop. Just a few minutes ago he was on a work conference and his hands were in his pants again. He knows that we see and don't feel comfortable but he just refuses to stop. When he facetimes his girlfriend his hands are down there. I don't know why or what he's doing this for but it's really unsettling. My parents have told him that he needs to stop, but he just goes and lies into his bed doing the same thing again. He has anxiety & depression (he visits a psychiatrist but I question whether he gives the full truth) but he likes to make out that it impairs him more than it actually does. An example is that he refuses to pull his weight in the household by emptying the bin and such, saying he'll do it later, facetimes his girlfriend (hands down pants as usual) and then showers and goes out with his girlfriend. I think he is also a pathological liar because he constantly lies (I think it is for attention, or because he thinks he can get away with it.. he gaslights after lying too.. he's very manipulative) about the smallest things, slipping his lies into everyday conversation with us, and when we know he is lying he gets very aggressive and calls names. I think he does this for attention, or to feel that he is rebellious.

He lies in his bed literally all day and night on his phone. It's at the point where his toenails are ripping the sheets and the cream colour sheets are black. He is just lazy. He shares a room with my other brother so I can't go into the room without seeing him lying there. I'll tell him to stop and he'll make me leave the room instead.

On top of this, he's not very hygienic, and simply lazy. He doesn't even aim to use the toilet properly and tries to say others missed the toilet when he's been the only one home all day. He despises washing his hands, we will ask him to wash them but he refuses to, but says he does, which makes the situation a whole lot worse and more gross when he touches food (especially at the dinner table). He only showers when he's going out with his girlfriend and stays in his pyjamas all day otherwise, and a little while ago he didn't even brush his teeth for a whole week and denied it. He walks around barefoot 24/7. My brother doesn't exercise and complains about getting fat, saying he's going to have a heart attack if he works out. Moreover, he always tells me he's going to break up with his girlfriend (who happens to be a teacher at my school.. as if the situation can't get any worse) constantly asking me for advice, then ignoring what I'll say and he does his own thing.

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He'll ask my other brother too and proceed to ignore what he has to say. He dumps all of his relationship problems onto us and doesn't even listen to what we say, so at this point we tell him to stop asking us. Our parents don't like her because they think she's rude and have forbidden her coming over, and me going out with them. They want him to break up with her but he won't.They have now been dating for 6 months.

He is an absolute grub. Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's a great big brother, but we have all told him that this makes us uncomfortable and I think his ways are getting out of hand. I feel bad for his girlfriend because she doesn't know what he's doing (the conversations aren't even sexual) and it's really getting on my nerves. I don't know what to do.

Side note: in our culture we live together until we are married when we move out.. so he won’t get kicked out.

TLDR; My brother has no personal hygiene, keeps his hands down his pants, is manipulative and makes us all uncomfortable.

Submitted August 03, 2021 at 05:41PM by when_whendidiask https://ift.tt/2WOT3sB