Why do I [M26] want the attention of others who do not reciprocate my desired level of interest, effort and investment in me?

• And why does the interest and efforts made by people who take interest in me not seem as appealing?

This is in relation to both friendship and romantic interests. Recently I'm finding it more with friendship interests though.

I guess I value the attention of my "Rejectors" higher than the those who treat me well.

When I say Rejectors i mean people I have a surface level friendship with, whom I'd like to be closer with but they don't reciprocate the level of interest, effort and investment in me as I'd like.

Since I've grown older I feel i've become very confident and way better at accepting a "rejection" and moving on, although every once in a while I'll catch myself feeling disappointed when I get the impression they aren't interested. This sometimes makes a dent in my perception of the confident person I though I had become.

I know I should devote more effort to those who treat me well, and I think I do for the most part, but at times I do find myself not feeling as much value in relations with them. Feeling this way makes me feel guilty and like an ungrateful spoiled brat.

• How can I overcome this?

I feel its a never ending cycle of un-fulfillment within my relations.

I guess a solution may be in the path of self-love, self worth and not relying on external things for happiness (BUT WE ARE SOCIAL CREATURES!! Says the counter argument side of my brain lol)

I accept the possibility that I could be somewhat narcissistic and maybe have a shallow way of valuing other people subconsciously, although I do feel for the most part that I am quite thoughtful for those who treat me well.

tl;dr : I feel disappointed when people I want to be closer with don't reciprocate. How can i get over this and value those that do see my value more?

Submitted April 05, 2021 at 04:16PM by asshat0987 https://ift.tt/39KxeOE