My(f18) Parents are forcing my sister(f13) to go to religious therapy for depression that they caused

I apologize if this post is really long in advance, so I'll try to get straight to the point about everything. My parents think that my sister has been "acting distant" from the family, and I agree that she has, but that it's their fault for it by the things that they've done to both of us growing up. When I've talked to my sister about it in years past, she always says that I'm playing a victim, which is something that my mom says too whenever she tries to logically tell me that whatever I'm thinking is wrong, and my friends even say that they're borderline abusive, but I want to hear from others who aren't biased what they think

My parents have a habit of going through our clothing and belongings unnannounced, and my mom always says that she has a right to because it's her home, and while I understand that that does give her that power, the reasons behind it is something I've always disagreed with

My mom has a habit of going through our clothing draws and laundry to see if we have been masturbating, and she's also gone through our bedsheets and yelled at us (me when I was younger) if she ever found stains of anything along with dad. I remember her bringing me to her room after dad got back from work to read us Bible verses on what we did, and revisit topics from our purity talk that we had when we were 11 that featured a bunch of cheesy songs and awkward lessons in my opinion too, and I remember her (more so than dad, he was more quiet) yelling at me until I cried on two occasions when mom found stains and told him about it, and they've yelled at her about it too, and I remember feeling guilty about it for awhile, but I don't want to make the focus of this about me. If anyone is curious as to what kind of book it was, it was "Passport to Purity" if anyone wants the reference

My sister plays volleyball on our school team, and I played tennis growing up as my only sport although I don't play now for personal reasons. My mom would only allow me to wear outfits that had a t-shirt and shorts or a tank occassionally, but nothing that was one-piece like my high school team had, since she didn't think that it was appropriate for me to wear because of how it moved whenever I ran around, and she did something similar to my sister too. Before I get to her, I wasn't allowed to play on my high school team for this reason, but instead on club teams that didn't have a specific uniform, but rather a t-shirt with the club's name that they handed out that you only had to wear, and I almost always wore it with shorts when I played

My sister did dance growing up, but my dad made her stop for a different reason than my mom. My mon never really liked it because she only really wanted us listening to Christian music, and I remember getting yelled at for changing the station in the car and if she saw me changing it back whenever she was getting out of a store or something, and she also got mad at me for sitting in a friend's car after church with my sister and listening to whatever they had on that wasn't Christian, and my mom would talk to their parents and make it that they would stop hanging out/talking to us, and she yelled at me for "being a bad influence to my sister" for not telling my friends what station to listen to in THEIR car

Back to my sister, my mom didn't like something about the culture/vibe from dancing, and my dad didn't like the moves that she would learn/practice there, so they forced her to switch over to something else which turned out to be volleyball, but I remember her saying that dad told her that "other people were looking at her weirdly" by dancing, and she's been really different in how she's dressed since. She doesn't like wearing shorts or t-shirts in the summer, and when she has to wear t-shirts, she'll usually wear something long under them and get upset if dad forces her to wear shorts around the house when she complains that it's hot or leaves the air condition on for too long or for when guest come over, and she's been really self-conscious about it ever since he said that

When I try to talk to her, she usually listens but thinks that I'm wrong because my parents often tell her that "I have walked away from God" and whatnot, but all I try to do is tell her that dad was wrong to say that, and that no one is looking at her in a weird way. But she doesn't believe me and continues to think that she's wrong, and she doesn't like walking around barefoot either and get upset with them when dad tells her to take off her socks to not get holes in them or when we go swimming in the backyard or something, where she often opts for her swim shoes

I apologize for that being so long, but the point of me writing all of that was for context. My dad's main issue is that she's been really distant, and by distant I mean staying locked in her room and only coming down to eat as he'll usually say, and he'll get really mad when he calls her with her headphones on and she doesn't hear him, and he'll come to his door and knock loudly and yell at her, and she will always apologize and think that she's doing something wrong. Personally, I don't blame her for what she feels, as I have felt a lot of similar things growing up too, but a lot of different ones as well

However, my parents are making her go to a pastor in our church to talk to her about something, and my dad is the one who is mainly advocating for it. My sister doesn't want to, but he told her that there's "something wrong with her" when he yelled at her recently, and my mom seems to think that she should go too

I don't know how to help her, since they've convinced her that everything I say to her is wrong, and she is so convinced that she's wrong about everything they accuse her of, and I'm really concerned for her. I agree with my parents that she has seemed really depressed, but disagree with everything else with how they're making her so self-conscious to the point where she's scared of her own body and how she dresses, and my biggest fear is that she may be hurting herself as well, although I don't have any evidence of that right now, but they want her to go meet with someone over the weekend, and I don't know how to help her any more than I'm trying to, whenever she asks to talk

If anyone has any advice on how to better reach her, I'd really appreciate that, and how to handle my parents too with all of this

TL;DR: My parents are making my sister meet with a church counselor for a problem that they are responsible for putting on her, and my dad told her that "people are looking at her body strangely" to the point where she's scared of how she dresses and very self-aware and depressed

Submitted April 07, 2021 at 09:23PM by throwraadvice34 https://ift.tt/3t66zUg