I (32F) had sex with a coworker (35M). He revealed to me that he has been married since he was 18, and that his wife is fine with it. I have found out that he is a manipulative liar, and I feel like I should probably tell his wife. Not sure what to do.

I have been working with Alex for about 4 months now. We are in a project together at work, and when we are done is expected to go back to his previous office. He is an extraordinarily handsome, muscular man. He pretty much attracts everybodies attention the moment he walks into a room. He is also very charismatic and seemingly highly intelligent. One night we were working together, and he got very flirty, and he asked if we could go to my apartment (one block away) to do more work. At the time, I almost felt just totally mesmerized by him, and I kind of wish I said no, but at the time I was very, very much down. We went back to my apartment and had sex. When we finished, he left pretty much right away. I was happy with what happened, it was very good sex, and frankly, he was leaving our office when the project was done, so its not like it would be anything permanent. Anyways, when I went back to the office, we were a bit closer to each other than normal just in terms of conversation and such. We had sex again about a week later. I noticed he was sort of distant, and once again, he left right after he was done.

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Anyways, about 3 weeks later, I went out for drinks with some girls from his office, kelsey and mary. Well with a bunch of people, but they were the important two people. I mentioned him to them and they both sort of were like "OOOOHHHHHHH that asshole". Apparently, he had slept with people in their office as well, and was just a serial liar. Not only to the women he slept with, but just everybody. Class-A manipulator. Brilliant worker at his job, but even then he was still a manipulative person to coworkers apparently. They also showed me that he had a wife. They showed me her instagram, where she says they have been married since they were 18. Loads of pictures of them together. Kids. Apparently, he lied to a bunch of people in the office about him having kids, but yeah, he 100% has kids. FIVE of them. He's also lied about where he lives, he lied about growing up poor, what country he was born in (turkey, not greece), what year he was born in. They have worked with him over 7 years now, and a bunch of people in the office have just known him as a bullshit artist over a lot of things. The guy is apparently just a serial liar and manipulator. Nobody at their office has ever had the gall to tell his wife because they were all afraid about the drama it would bring, especially considering he is a really good worker. And apparently a lot of the woman at the office would be mad at the idea of their fuck buddy getting called out. The way they described it to me, he is like 'stress relief' for some women there.

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I decided I should confront him. Not about everything, but just his wife. I told Kelsey and Mary about this and they supported it, saying that they would be fine with them being the source of this, because they don't like him. He said, very calmly, very smoothly, that yes he was married, and he is sorry for not telling me, but that his wife is totally fine with him sleeping around. He then told me this entire story about how them having an open relationship happened, and the sad thing is, he told it so believably that I really felt like it was the truth. It was only after that I was like, wait, this guy is freaking lying to me.

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I mean, honestly, what are the chances this guy is possibly telling the truth about his wife? That she is apparently 'fine' with him fucking around with all of these women? And when I say 'all of these women' I mean a lot, a LOT of women. Some part of me is also like, why even get involved. They've been married for 17 years. The chances she hasn't caught him cheating seem kinda slim.

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But at the same time, I also feel like I have an obligation to tell her. And I am in a unique position. I am not working in the office he usually works in. Part of the reason why they have never called him out fully on his bullshit is because of the drama it would cause, and the issues it would cause with the company, but I have no connection to that stuff.

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Should I? What do I do?

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Tl;DR - - I slept with a guy I work with, and it turns out he has a wife and kids, and he is a serial liar and manipulator. I am not sure whether to tell his wife or not.

Submitted April 07, 2021 at 11:23PM by Holiday-Ad-8027 https://ift.tt/3wAzbXH