My mother feels my husband isn’t doing enough to look after me and our newborn daughter, and is giving us the silent treatment. (27f/29m/62f)

We have been married for 2 years and have a 2 month old baby.

My mom hasn’t been the biggest fan of my husband because back when we were dating, he didn’t exactly treat me well and had anger problems. We’ve worked on things and they’re infinitely better and he’s been a great dad and we’ve come together as a team. Since baby was born things have been better than they’ve ever been.

We moved back home in order to get help with our newborn baby. And it has been so, so helpful to have my parents around, especially as my husband has a 2 hour commute to work each way and works long, stressful days.

I guess my mom thinks my husband should essentially be doing a lot to help since I’m feeding. He’s struggling with sleep deprivation too. When he’s off work, I feel like we share things fairly well - I mostly feed the baby, he does laundry/chores, nappies and often holds the baby when she’s awake or needs settling - I really don’t mind having the time to make us snacks or chill out. I don’t particularly feel hard done by. I know I could be sleeping but I like being up and about.

But he’s pretty bad in the nights and mornings I’ll admit. He struggles to get out of bed in the morning and is often still there later than me. It can be frustrating but he helps out during the day.

But my mom seems to think that he should be bringing me food and drinks whenever I’m feeding. She got really angry this morning that he hadn’t made me breakfast and a drink and said it was bad for the baby as I’m feeding. Throughout the day I’d make us food and she got progressively angrier that he was “so lazy”.

I don’t think he is except maybe in the mornings and night. I really don’t mind doing other thinks while he looks after the baby. I told my mom this. To which she said I was doing too much. She then told me I should quit my job and just act as a servant to him like his mom (she literally did everything for him - way more than I do). And my mom HATES my in laws.

She said she was just looking out for me and worried that I’d end up doing too much work but she was sick of telling me that so it wasn’t worth talking to me.

My mom loves to do silent treatment/sulking when she’s mad so she’s basically completely ignoring him and only spoke to me because I addressed it. So the house atmosphere is rubbish and tense. Everyone can feel it.

I feel like I can’t bring myself to tell hubby because he’s always SO worried that she doesn’t like him. He’s picked up on it and keeps angsting that he’s upset her. He knows somethings wrong because she’s ignoring him and sulking around the house.

I don’t know how to navigate this apart from telling him what she’s said and making him come down and make us breakfast and food all the time. It just seems weird just to appease my mom and I know it will really upset him too. Then again my mom probably means well and it’s from a good place. I don’t know what to do.

tldr Think my mom dislikes my husband and feels he is too lazy looking after me as I’m feeding our newborn daughter. I don’t mind so much and feels he helps out but she’s doing the silent treatment on both of us and it’s really straining the house and making us both upset.

Submitted December 24, 2020 at 01:18PM by jdjdjdbek https://ift.tt/38D6zlg